Proverbs 24:17 take me away today. Lord please show me how to have compassion for the ones that have hurt me. The people that have done the most in life to try to hurt me and others are falling, and I do not want to say that is what you get. The things I speak is of my heart, and I want a renewed and clean heart.
Someone was heavy on my spirit so I go on IG to check out their situation. Their house has burned down. I don’t go onto that account on IG too often or I would have saw the picture in my feed. I am empathetic. I know how it is to be displaced. Sympathy is altogether something else.
I woke up this morning, and I felt moved to read the first ten chapters of Joshua. What stands out to me most are the verses reminding me to stand strong and courageous. I am about to go into the most invigorating season of my life, and I am going to have to be strong. I am going to have to be courageous. I am encouraged.
I am given a measure of renewed faith when I read chapter five verse nine, when the Lord tells Joshua that he has rolled away the repraoach of Egypt. Yes, I serve a God that will not only deliver me from my Egypt but will removed the guilt and shame that comes along with it.
So as I continue reading I scroll past chapter seven verse eleven. I don’t know what makes me highlight the verse. “Isreal has sinned, they have violated my covenant…they have taken some of the devoted things; they have stolen, they have lied, they have put them with their own possessions.
I just thought it was an interesting verse showing how our actions leave us open to God’s reproof and His discipline and how important it is for me to stay on track in all things. I cannot change who I used to be, but I can be the new creature in Christ He has called me to be.
So I’m meditating on the word before I get up to prepare myself for the day, you know food preparation and exercise. The life of being in rest. However, she pops into my head so I check and find that tragedy has befallen her family again.
I thought back to the summer my daughters grandmother told me the woman that did everything she could to break my relationship with my child’s father up house had burned down. Oh I whooped hollered and laughed. Thats what she gets I thought. Unfortunately for me I hadn’t been saved and redeemed by the blood of Jesus. I didn’t realize that the anger of the Lord would turn away from those that do wrong when I rejoice over their downfalls. I knew that woman was a woman who did things that were not pleasing to God, I mean the type of things that were strictly forbidden. However it was not my place to rejoice over her downfall.
So here I am years later same situation. Only difference is this woman was my best friend at one time in my life. I have known her since I was a preteen and she did more hurtful things than I would rather recount.
I immediately think about the scripture I have literally read less than thirty minutes ago about those having stolen and lied.
We were deep in our friendship after my mother died. She informed me my family didn’t care about me, and whenever they called I should ignore their phone calls. They only wanted money. Yet she was happy to get a pair of shoes from Bakers when I went and got me a pair. She was always asking me for a five hundred dollar loan. Loans that never got paid back even after her business went viral and went to another level. Its alright. Material things are nothing. The thing that hurt me the most was my family. See while I was busy listening to her caught in my grief about my family she was preparing to turn them against me with lies to my favorite cousin in the coming years. Low blows hit hard, catch me off guard unable to take a breath.
That wasn’t all of it. While we were in our friendship she explained to me how her she and her husband had come to get their near million dollar house. Well she worked in a refinancing organization which gave her access to the accounts of the people. She would then research and find an older person who was not going to be quick to check their accounts, and when she found an account that didn’t too much call in to check on anything, or was maybe too old to do so she would take an additional loan out for the person, have the check sent to the office and send her husband to get someone to cash it.
That someone was the wife he was hiding from her before he married her. The same woman she forced him to divorce to break his covenant with God so not only was she stealing from the older people, she was using manipulation and her daughter as a pawn to keep this man from keeping his word to God. She made sure to let him know he would not be able to see his youngest child if he stayed in his marriage. She wanted to live in that million dollar home that she helped him get through their scandalous embezzlement of funds.
I would see them riding around in expensive cars, and living in that home and wonder how could that be possible. Where was God in the situation? I couldnt worry about that. I needed to stay on task and be focused. I had to meditate on Proverbs 24:21. I had to fear God and not get into someone elses rebellious behavior.
Last year I emailed her a long letter about how thankful I was to receive the mercy and grace of our Savior. I let her know that He is not who we were raised to believe he was, and this is real life. He’s real and He’s alive. He’s not an angel. He’s sitting on the right hand of God the Son of God. I get no response I am not expecting one. I just need to fulfill an assignment.
I can’t help but thank God for bringing me out of my mess. So I pray that He opens her heart to the same thing. All I know is learning God’s mercy for myself shows and teaches me how to be merciful to others. Forgive them father for they know not what they do, and sometimes God will allow us to go through the darkest seasons of our lives just so He can prove to be our light. Its His way of calling us out of the darkness.
So pray for our dear sister in the faith. She just doesn’t know who she is yet. She does not know who she has been called to be, but her testimony is made of the types of things that breaks real chains. She is not who they say she is. She made poor decisions as we all have in our imperfection, just some cause more serious consequences than others.
At the end of the day I am thankful for growth. I know God in a real way now, and I know that everything that glitters isn’t gold.
I know that material things neither make nor break me. So I go to the car wash and wash my car Yes its a much older car, but it runs an now it is very clean. In those zero below days my car was starting right up and I only had one day where it did not. Praise God I was coming out of bible study and there was someone there to help me, so God is always taking care of my needs. So I clean my car like its a seven fifty beamer and thank God that He allowed someone to put the car keys and a title in my hand for no other reason than I prayed and asked God to help me get a car. When I asked the person who gave me the car if they wanted anything in return they just looked at me like I was speaking Spanish and shook their head. Thank you Lord. You always hear me. You always take care of me.
I have learned that people can have everything in the world and still be miserable. Or like myself, have very little but my peace of God and my joy is something I wouldn’t trade for the world. I have so much and didn’t even realize it until today when I saw someone that has so much but stays so miserable.
Well God works out everything in due timing. So I stay prayed up and faithful in this walk knowing that He is faithful. He will neither leave me nor forsake me, and when I give thought to why those that do evil things get away with their actions that’s not my assignment to worry about others. My job is to keep my eyes stayed on God, knowing that His will shall be done.
Patience is the key. I believe God that it will unlock every door that He has a table prepared behind for me. Its never been easy. But it has definitely been oh so worth it.
So I continue to pray for those that have hurt me. Hurt people hurt people. That has always been one of my favorite sayings. I never knew there was a second part to that until I saw on someone’s page healed people heal people. I guess that’s why everything came against my healing, because those that have hurt me the most need the most prayer, and if I am hurting focusing on my own pain then the last thing I am doing is praying for them. Thank God for healing, for change and revelation. I continually hope that God will move the things out the way that have hurt them the most. And I am thankful for them. They have truly helped me learn how to forgive.