So. I see a former friend.
I know its about that time of the year.
Our birthdays are one month apart. So we do the phony kick it thing. We pretend as if all the ugly things we have done to each other don’t exist so that we can be there for each others faux celebrations. I mean she was honest enough with me last year just to tell me flat out she didnt like me. I appreciated her honesty. I mean that had to be why she thought I was stuck up in middle school because my hair was long. She did not like me then and was looking for any reason she could find to express how she truly felt about me.
I just wished I had learned sooner.
Before the shot gun scare.
Before nearly sending me down stairs with my daughter on my hip.
The only time I have self control is when the little one was near. Her safety is my number one priority. So I moved to get out of the way as quickly as I could. There is no pacifying that type of crazy.
Before letting go of my promise for her lies.
Before wasted time.
Before untrue rumors.
Before, Before, Before.
But today is after. I heard clearly that I was going to see her, so I washed and cleaned my car until I was released to stop cleaning. When she pulled up next to me I was not at all suprised. I figured it would be at the car wash. I guess I had been warned aforetime.
I laughed with my daughter. I had conversation with the man who was trying to flirt while I was inviting him to my church. I am not on the market right now. I am not released to date as of yet. Thank you for the interest though.
I ignore her.
I have allowed poison to get into my pores and under my skin for so many years that it seemed like only the right thing to do. I love her I do. I just have to love her at a distance. I did what God asked me to do. I brought her to Him. She joined, and has since encouraged many others to join our church. I love her for real. However, at this stage of my journey I am learning how to protect my anointing. I have learned that some people will not put in the work necessary to get their breakthrough and their healing, and will try to break through with the person that is willing to the point of shutting them down. I do not want to be shut down any more. This has happened every year for the past three years. I think this was the lesson I needed to learn. The lesson was how to be delivered from people. If someone has shown me they are my enemy on every level, then I learn like Jesus did Judas to eventually send them on their way. There are no more words to share. We do not need to pretend like we are friends. Yet, I don’t dislike the person. I just pray that God moves their hearts and changes their situations.
Some people get so involved with dark places and people and do things that even King Saul was willing to go against God to indulge in because they are not willing to truly place their trust in God. Yes, I thank God for repentance. Change comes at a very necessary time. So I let go. I release some people from my spirit who only wanted to pull me down into thier darkness, introducing me to things they had no business doing and surely shouldnt have shown me. Especially since they knew the Lord in a real way. So I stay away. I understand how everyone is not going to like me. Thats alright. I have finally learned how to like myself.
I just can not have anyone around me that is willing to tear me down just to pull themselves up.
So I watched my former friend speed off. I drove off as well. My pace moderate. I am no longer in any big hurry. I understand God’s timing. I just want to learn everything He is teaching me in the process. Why would I race to catch up to someone else when I am being paced to get on my own level?
So I guess today I learned the importance of passing my test to not get stuck in repeat cycles again and again.
And I celebrate. There are more than enough at my table. Even if there was only one. One real is better than a thousand fake. So we walk into our seasons of favor. We find peace in where God is taking us and revel in celebration.
So. I see a former friend.