Tuesday morning I lay on the altar body facing the east not even knowing why I turned my body to face in that direction. My voice is gone. I rarely get sick but running on this track with no scarf covering my throat has left me open. I want to sing but I can’t. I just give God the best glory I can. But I ask for my favor and my direction. I been operating in favor for awhile now. But now I’m living this life in accordance with my request.
After I get up from the altar I feel something that brings me joy. I cannot place it. I just know I am happy. Happy is an understatement. I am overjoyed!!
I cannot stop smiling and dancing. I have no voice to sing with the praise team but I am so over joyed.
So I go home. It’s time to get ready for my birthday. I think of the people I have recently reached out to. I have a King Saul. An enemy that seeks to take my life by way of reputation.
So some choose not to respond. I wonder if it has anything to do with the people who like King Saul seek to destroy my name because of my ability to destroy them.
I find a scripture in 1 Samuel. God rewards the righteous and the faithful. See King Saul has been delivered into David’s hands on more than one occasion but David knows enough not to lay a finger on God’s anointed.
It is in seeking to destroy another that one places themselves in line to be destroyed. That’s what happened to Saul.
My Saul has done so much. Been chasing after me since my youth. I thought I had a first boyfriend until she was kissing him behind my aunts garage. Oh well. But I like David forgive her. She then betrays me by trying to turn my best friend against me. OK all is forgotten when I see her ten years later.
Like David played music to settle the spirit of King Saul when this person spoke of wanting to kill herself for allowing her husband’s baby to die in her belly because the man that would become her husband told her it was the baby or him. I guess her sitting in one place until the baby stopped moving after she felt her water break was better in her mind than having an abortion. So when years later she had to watch that ex husband of hers shoot himself to alleviate the pain of his life and no seed to live for because of her selfishness I wondered if the two that plotted to prevent a life from living would be spared for long.
I wonder if that was the reason the man that made that request lost his first born years later.
People see tragedies hit but don’t know the stories of how others operated in unrepentance before devastation occurs.
The year came for my King Saul to turn everyone I knew against me. She lied to my family and anyone who would listen. I thought of the information I had that would have the feds knocking at her door investigating the million dollar home she would never have been able to afford had she not embezzled funds from all those older people at her firm.
I wondered if our peers would look at her the same way if they knew her happy home came from her forcing her husband to leave his wife. The young woman being made to leave her home with tears in her eyes as she knew she was out numbered. His youngest child was being dangled as bait. It was the child or the wife. My Saul made her stand firmly loud and clear.
See houses can’t stand when built on sand and sometimes they get burned to the ground.
I thought to the scripture. No I could not lay a hand on Gods anointed. She must have been special to him for a time and a season. It was not for me to try to tear her down in the eyes of our peers. People can speculate but they won’t hear me laying up gossip on my lips. I won’t kill what I know God will take care of in the end.
So I think of favor.
God rewards the righteous and faithful. I may not ever be perfect this side of heaven but I’ve lived with a servants mindset. Like David. Looking to appease my enemies so they can be comfortable around me. My laughter and love being the harp.
My season of favor started yesterday. April tenth. I turned thirty three. I walked into the resort. Yes I can get used to this. I think I shall.
Then I get forty dollars. Cash? Thanks I’ll take it. I’ll use it to pay for my bday meal.
Then my sister gets a trip to Puerto Rico.
I get one to Jamaica. WORD!?!
Then we both get one to Vegas??
OK. Where is Ashton. Somebody must be punking me. I mean I been wearing this ring on my hand with symbols of travel. I claimed that thing. But just like that Lord?
OK. Next on my to do list is my fave restaurant. And we laugh we enjoy. This season of suddenlies has suddenly turned into a season of favor.
And I want to dance.
Reggae me please. I’m living a sacrificial life. So that means dear friend from work I happen to see when we get there that he not dance too close or put his hands on my behind as we take a picture after leaving. I don’t want to be tempted I want to be kept.
God rewards the righteous and the faithful.
My night ends with getting tickets to a concert. My favor. My God. He knows what I like and provides those things for me. I guess not taking matters into my own hands and knowing he will always be my provider makes for blessings to abound. I mean I do try my best to live a life holy and acceptable to Him. I present my life and my body a living sacrifice.
When who wants a perfect love story called me I had a choice. Let him back in when I’m missing him so much. Or know that whatever God has for me is better than even I can imagine. So that day before my birthday when I was near tears wanting to open the door to him I let my Savior soothe me.
Yes my season of favor. My birthday. Was the best one I ever had. The biggest gifts I ever got. But knowing they could come from noone but my Daddy my Father in heaven made it all the better.
Yes I will continue to tell of His goodness. I will continue to rejoice in my testimonies. I will continue to be awakened out my sleep when He is urging me to get in my word. Or write one of these blogs. He has been faithful. He has cleaned me up. I may be fragmented pieces of who I used to be but I am so much closer to who He wants me to be.
Yes the blessings of the Lord abounds. Just what are you willing to sacrifice for His favor?
Psalm 105:1-4 1. Oh give thanks to the Lord; call upon his name make known his deeds among the peoples! 2. Sing to Him, sing praises to Him; tell of all His wondrous works! 3. Glory in His name; let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice! 4. Seek the LORD and his strength; seek His presence continually.