There is a point in time when balance is necessary.

There is a time for everything. 

I cannot spend all my time working out and neglecting other things that matter just as much as me getting myself in my best health.

Like friendships, relationships, like prayer, reading my word and praise and thanksgiving. 

Living life cannot be neglected.

I have learned that some things have been placed in our lives so that we can learn from it and not make the same mistakes with the same or similar situations. 

I mean insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

But humans become creatures of habit. When we do something it becomes human nature to continue to do the same things. When we accept certain things it becomes a necessary function to continue to do so. So how do we get to the point of being reprogrammed to understand that the things that were designed to break us should be avoided at all costs. 

Its like taking the circuitry of our brains and rewiring it to be something else.

So previously for me life has always been all or nothing. There is no balance in that, so when there is no balance something or someone gets neglected.

Something or someone gets rejected. 

Something or someone gets redirected.

So here it is. Options presented. If I continue to do the same thing the same outcome will continue to be here. Its like the fear of success is so prevalent in my life that I would rather give my life raft away to someone who will inevitably take my thoughts and ideas pretend like it was theirs in the first place. 

Not anymore. Balance means I can go in and come right back out. I can give what belongs to another while reserving what belongs to me. I don’t obsess over things that cannot be controlled. I give it to a power greater than me put my shades on let the wind blow through my hair. Ehhhh I ain’t worried about nothing. Word for real. Everything that is for me will be for me. All i have to do is walk forward. All I have to do is forget what it is that was supposed to be left behind. Talk it out. Let it go and keep it moving.

What never mattered gets no more thought.

So here I am trying to get rid of some excess written pieces. I delete one that mattered to me. I thought I was going to be distraught about it, but I immediately let it go and kept it moving. Allowed myself to feel some type of way for a hot minute, and continued on with what I needed to do.

As I sat texting through the night, I know I am going to make sure to learn from old mistakes. Losing what matters more than once in a lifetime is not an option.

Especially since conviction sets in heavily. The goal is not perfection it is improvement. Better is better than nothing at all.

How fast can one release? How quick do we let go? How much more do we learn from past mistakes?

See the words are only a reminder. Sharing past experiences is a release. This is my couch, and as the words fall in place pain lifts and allows me to float light as a feather.

I cannot imagine knowing how to love someone that has been taught to hate themselves when my stuff is so heavy that I have a hard time loving myself. Loving myself through anything I walk into. Being patient with myself allow me to be patient with another. Understanding my process allows me to speak to another while they are in the midst of their process. See it has never been about passing judgement, but understanding that we are all similar. We find strength in lifting each other up.

So here is to strength. Here is to better than yesterday. Here is to taking time to get oneself together so that others can gain their strength. Here is to the balance that one will be able to get what they need, share what they can and continue in the various places that help them stand up to face the challenges of life.

Beam me up. Because I am balancing. Not too much and now never not enough. Right in the middle. I’m Malcolm. 

let it be what it will. I mean I can only control me so let the rest go. 

Yes. I let it go. I let it be. In the mean time become all that matters to me.



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