My child like my life is not my own.
She is my treasure my blessing and my only job is to do what God has asked me to do with her so she becomes everything He formed her in my womb to be.
That means I relinquish all control onto my Father who is her Father too. We are Fatherless so this way she never feels like she is lacking in any area.
I watch her. She is tying her shoe. I don’t know when children normally tie their shoes but she recently turned four. Sounds about the right age. I showed her a few times but have not been consistent like my mother made things a task for me. You know show the other children up with my abilities. Yet, she got it.
She tells me you’ve got to have love in your heart. It makes you nice and sweet.
A lot of times when I ask her how she knows things she tells me God tells her.
I truly believe He does.
Didn’t Jesus say we needed to be more like the little children in order to enter into the kingdom? Humble, loving, forgiving, willing to listen and ask.
See sometimes when I am going through and can’t pray for myself my daughter will see my frustrations and began to call for Jesus for me.
Like, “Jesus please help my mommy with…”
I turn around and smile to myself. Yes she is already developing her own relationship.
See I don’t have to push Him on her because He is not a demanding God. So patient, wonderful , loving, kind. Epitomizing love. Showing us the Father through His gospels exemplifying Him through deed and word. Yes the word of God.
Comfort and relief. Provisions for the weary and downtrodden.
So. She and I are doing a little friendly teasing banter. I tell her she’s a crybaby. She immediately stops her tears and says, “You’re a crybaby. Because every time you’re praying to God you be crying.”
I had to cover my mouth to prevent the guffaw from escaping.
So true my dear.
As I explained. When I talk to God my Father I am talking to my Daddy. Nothing like a Daddy’s girl pouring her heart out to the one that will never look for ways to hurt me or hold anything good from me.
I mean. We are wicked. Know how to give good gifts. How much more so the Father of all creation?
So. I embrace my angel. She is an angel. She was sent into my womb to keep me from destroying me. Six months after I said goodbye to my mother I was on a path of self destruction and she came in the nick of time.
My little sunshine.
I used to joke with people and say the sun can’t shine without Radiance. Now I realize the sun is what gives Radiance its luster.
The people I meet these days tell me how much my name fits me but its this sun kissed skin that catches them off guard thinking my origin is from some exotic land and not the west side of Chicago. Madison and Laramie to be exact. Chitown born and bred. Raised in Boston. Something kinda oxymoronic about that mixture but my me-ness is something kinda different.
That was my mothers job. To preserve my uniqueness. She did.
So when I look at my baby shining bright like the sun I know. God can do anything but a few he won’t, like fail me. So as long as I lean on him with all my understanding I will keep my baby in the places she is designed to be to become whom God purposed her to be.
She may not be made to be a bop princess. She may be made to be a ballerina. Long stealthy movements with long legged strides creating grace and transcending cultural lines that brings tears to the hurtings eyes.
A healer. Touching others in love and comforting them through tough times.
I know. That was her purpose for me. Bringing me back to life so I could live for her. Not just exist. But truly live.
Now what better gift could my Daddy have given me in that?
Yes my life like my child is not my own. I just hope I can do what is pleasing in the sight of God with the beautiful treasure He has given me.