I spend so much time on my negatives you’d think I’d have enough on the equation to create a positive.

No. No. No. When I really mean yes yes yes!

I think I am a child of destiny. A beloved child of God. One of His special ones.

No there is nothing special about my make up. That is not as special about any one else’s. I just read about the judges of Israel. The thing that made them special was their willingness to be submissive to God. Not man.

I’ve been loving my Lord and Savior for a long time. He is the one that presents me approved or not to the Father. I believe my deeds can only take me so far because what does it all matter if I have no love?

Love for the one that created me. So much so I will go places I can’t stand the sight of because He sent me. Talk to people I would never interact with because He sent me. I would tell you the stories. I’m sure you’d get bored.

So yesterday Pastor preached about personal relationships. Saying we should tell our enemies to keep our names off their lips they don’t know who we are to God.

I just sat and thought of all the people that tried to attack my name and character. The things that happened to them. Repeatedly. I’m like when are you going to shut up. I think I would be tired of trying to clear the smoke after tearing someone’s name down. I mean have you even paid attention. When does the calamity befall.

Everyone loves to talk about how merciful and slow to anger God is. Yes. But against the enemies of His servants He spared no expense. Look at Joshua. Thirty one kings were killed. Whole kingdoms burned down.

People that go against God His commandments His laws. His servants. Miriam was an Israelite and still struck with leprosy for talking against Moses and Moses was a murderer. God didn’t look at Moses’ sin but what Moses was willing to do for God. Be His mouthpiece. He believed in God.

See. I don’t know what deeds a person has done for the Most High. No matter what it looks like relationships are personal. So I am learning to shut my mouth and not speak against people. Quiet as kept is the best solution for me.

I meant it silence is golden.

So what if they did something offensive. Love is holding no record of wrongs. That’s what my Father does. He blots them out. So why would a group of people keep a record of a persons sins to condemn them with. Then put their mouths to speak the condemnation and not understand why… Why? Why?

A question for God. Thought and logic cannot explain a powerful God who uses the foolish things to confound the wise. That’s why personal relationship is so important.

It’s never been a gut or intuition. It’s always been God.

Greater is He that lives in you. Body is a temple for the Holy Spirit.

Did you think those were just words and not actions.

In my sacrificial living I have learned how clear His voice is.  Sacrificial as in a life free from willful sin. Just one step in the wrong direction can remove His guidance because obedience is better than sacrifice so I watched last week. I learned.

I learned and I corrected.

My growth will always be necessary. In growth we challenge others so maybe my love of God may be offensive to those that want to remind me of who I used to be. Maybe they are uncomfortable with who they choose not to be. A loving obedient servant and child of the Most High God. Well. In discomfort we are challenged and if I am not challenging a possible contender to bring light to darkness then why would God have allowed my mother to name me Radiance?

Light bearer. Shining in the midst of madness.

See if you still talking about what happened last week, last month, last year. Sorry that’s my past. I don’t live there anymore. If you can find that woman congrats because I know who has changed me. I am a woman of God. He loves me. I love Him back. He loved me more. So. I walk.

Its never been easy. But oh the peace. The love that never leaves me with a void. Its the disappointments of man that leaves my mouth hungering for the whole refrigerator but when I enter into the rest of my father between his shoulders on his chest I relax lay back and let Him know all that troubles me. If you’re on the list begin to repent.

I’m sitting in discipline and in the wilderness now. Trust me I know the things my mouth have confessed. The names I’ve trampled. I apologize. I have learned my lesson.

Now I just pray. Pray we all make it. Pray we all find freedom. Freedom to become all we are capable of so that we have no time to murmer against another…

Because really? How can I claim I love my God I can’t see when I am not loving my brother I can??

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