So my car went out on me last week.
I had two options. Get it fixed and forego the birthday celebrations with my sister, or get a $28 weekly bus card and party like a rockstar!
I chose the latter. Minus drunken escapades, minus blatent or any promiscuity, minus drug use.
I mean we had good clean fun. Sacrificial lives do not mean we stop living. We just shine as light in the midst of darkness. We were never supposed to leave the world, just carry on differently.
So we had choices. I did my custom color on my hair.
This girl is on fire. Red hair and blonde tips. I mean I am Radiance. Time for a change. My change my choice. No need for any validation means I don’t care what kind of labels men have put on red haired women. Red looks good on me. It brings out the red in my skin tones from my Native American heritage. Its just an aesthetic.
I mean who wants to be a dull carbon copy of everyone else? Accepting labels society has placed on them. Must I keep an afro because I have roots in Africa. I have Native American roots too. I have Caucasian roots too. Regardless to who is willing to embrace me into their culture I do what makes me smile.
We had a blast. Or first night was a nice sit down dinner at The Grand Luxe Cafe. We ate good. I mean cheesy roast beef fries to live for.
After that it was reggae dancing. No I don’t need to dance with anyone to enjoy myself. Few can keep up with me anyway so I try not to tone myself down by dancing with someone that is going to slow me down. I almost gave someone my number until I saw a brother of mine giving me that look, like what are you doing? Thats right. I am being set apart. Sorry Mister. Thanks but no thanks. When it was over we stood out front of our reggae spot laughing and talking. Enjoying ourselves. Happy. We ain’t got no worries.
Day 2. A childhood acquaintance invites me to a party. Of course. My mother was her preschool teacher. Her mother babysat me as a baby. Long standing history so we go out. Keep the celebration of life going.
I mean shouldn’t we give flowers to those that are living?
That’s what I was taught.
My sister had the time of her life. She turns up I turn up. Nobody has to be on the dance floor to get me going. I love to dance. I love fun. Especially fun with no regrets, I remember every phase of it. Just living.
Day 3. We knew it was time to tone it down. Headed downtown to the reggae beach party at the restaurant overlooking our beautiful Lake Michigan we see pastor. Looking dapper shopping with our lovely first lady. So we mellowed out. As I was talking to the D.J. at the beach letting him know he hooked me up with my free Mr. Vegas tickets for my birthday he promised to take care of my sister for her birthday at the after set.
He did. She even learned how to mic check one two one two, as she hit the ones and twos a two step for her fingers ficky ficky djing. One of our core elements of hip-hop. She tuned into her culture this weekend as we embraced that of others.
So as I was riding the train today I got a reminder as I was sitting in my revelrie, pleased with how even after all that we got to worship on Sunday and get the word of God to remind us that God will overturn, overturn, overturn it. And it shall be no more.
Yes what the enemy intended for evil God will turn it around for His good if we allow it to.
But as I was sitting someone notices my wrist band and asked what does it mean. I wear 1 John 3:7 on my arm. I am determined everyday to operate under righteousness. I stand firm in my choices to choose better. I am trying. I aim to be a full time servant. That’s not just in the house but to everyone I meet.
Yes. The person that lives a life of righteousness is righteous. Willful sin is no longer the lot in my life and I am not looking back.
This weekend was the killing of Rae-Rae. There are still some things in me that have to die. So I die daily.
And in letting go of her and the people I once thought loved me I gained the freedom to move around dance floors like my feet were made of clouds.
See while I had been looking for friends my sister was all four of the people who hurt me the worst, just the best parts of them. So I saw her and appreciated the good traits that make her not only a sister but a friend as well. Silly with jokes for days like one, a true and real sister with a love of dancing, hair stylist like the other one, and a friend willing to ride with me through good and bad.
So yes. Like I told the man on the train. I am determined everyday. Not worrying about opinions because who but God alone knows what our personal time looks like. He will judge my heart like He did David’s while Samuel was constantly overlooking him.
So while my rivers of sadness have dried up. My tears of regret are no more. And I only allow those willing to protect me and my destiny in my circle.
I know what dream killers look and sound like now.
So I am focused. In peace.
I believe God. He will overturn. It shall be no more. He has restored the years that the locust and cankerworm have eaten.
Lord continue to reign over my life. I will continue to serve. In my servitude I learn gratitude and in my gratitude I find joy.
That is my strength the joy of the Lord so I flex my muscles and keep it moving.
That is my only option.