I had a conversation with my Judas recently.

I knew I would have to allow the kiss to come. Next comes the persecution so that this cross I have picked up will enable me to get to my destiny.

I mean I had been warned.

I saw her love of money and things.

Judas and his silver. It looked the same to me.

We had a conversation awhile back. I test people now a days. It’s only fair. I am being trained by the Most High. I let my words trail off when she and I were talking about Judas.

I said. I had the thought of Judas pop into my head and I looked over to see so and so…

I never let the thought finish that so and so let me know and didn’t even know she told me it was you.

It hit my spirit. I knew it was the one of Truth.

See the pure heart of a child never lies. I let my daughter pick people for me these days. She’s claimed her new father, and she chooses my friends. There are people she loves, and some that she pays no attention to.

I always pay more attention to those she pays no attention to. Especially when they are eager to tell me we are connected and I have heard nothing that they’ve heard. Yes. We may just be connected. Maybe it’s to see if I will finally pass the test of keeping those that are a wrecking ball to my purpose away from me.

I don’t want the test again. I’m tired of getting attached to the wrong people. I want my lifetime folk. I am ready to be done with the seasons and reasons.

So anyway. My Convo with Judas. Yes. I have a long standing history of disloyal women.

Forgive me. I sing Chris Brown’s song like I’m a dude. Only because I have seen. Smelled betrayal literally in the bed next to it. Heard the lies, and half truths. I mean my home was even robbed with the help of one. Her knowledge of my secret stash gave the inside job of my burglary a straight flush because the hand she gave them was the winning one.

Straight to the bank. Or pawn shop. Or whatever and wherever thieves go. I mean I watched her stuff clothes from department stores, just never thought she would turn on me.

Her heart became hardened like Pharoah. So I let God free me from the hands of my enemies.

Back to Judas.

See I had no issues with getting to where I need to be. I am a driver and driving, having a CDL, affords me the luxury of never having to worry about employment. If I were able to work right now, but I learned a lot while driving.

I pay attention to everything.

I play the space cadet, when my peripheral is mirroring the sights and signs I better not avoid.

I knew this was coming. I had been warned. So dear Judas.

Turn me over. I’m ready for my kingdom. Do your job so this caged bird can sing. A newfound freedom I’ve found. I’m now ready to walk into it.

I be feeling like the man when I walk through. I ain’t stuttin’ what you saying when I walk through.

See it’s never been for my glory. Singing and songwriting was not my forte. Not until this New Life and this fresh oil. See I do a mean 7 minute poetry thing. The applause captivates me. The power in my voice as I flip metaphors on verbs and nouns to create a picture seldom seen. Yes. I love that. Singing? Eh not so much.

But I will.

So in the midst of friends why do we let enemies stay in place? Why do we allow a bad apple to spoil the bunch? And allow seeds of doubt to infiltrate our spirit making us too heavy to fly?

I am pretty. So they say. Comparisons to faces made for TV, yet I still can’t see but I post few selfies. Its really not about me. Its about God. His perfect love and wanting to let Him be the main focus in my life. Some can’t contain their need for attention in a desperate cry for help walking away from Gods process to create their own. So like skull and crossbones poisonous words breakdown interpersonal relationships and interactions in a need for validation.

The attention cry screaming, “Choose me so I can fill this void when I have yet to choose myself.”

No, No, No. Those walking in disobedience look to attach to those willing to walk in obedience understanding the favor that comes along with that.

So now I listen intently to Daddy, protecting my anointing. Shake it, shift it. Make it move.

Release all anchors so I can set sail.

So Judas do you boo. I saw it. I knew it. I chose you for your job. No one could do it like you.

I still love you though.

Just never forget how his story ends.


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