My ex used to tell me what’s love got to do with it all the time.

I couldn’t understand at the time.

Now I do.

How can a loveless generation accept something they don’t understand?

They think things are the key to a foundation of happiness. Forgetting or never knowing their history that in slavery times when freedom rang men would walk through States to get to his wife and hope his kids were with her. See that wife was whom he had covenant with.

The word says he will leave his father and mother. Love her as Christ did the church. See Jesus gave his life for the church and for a man to love his wife like that is no wonder why in slavery times men walked through brimstone and hot water to get to the one they longed for.

And here this generation discarding women like loose ends on toilet paper. Frayed and misused, getting what they need and using selfish ambitions to emotionally abuse.

Lost in confusion. One day he may say, I’m looking to be a husband. Then two days later you know I’m not sure I want a relationship.

Well well well.

Hopefully women are guarded up like chastity belt wearer’s not allowing those double minded and unsure to penetrate their guards or stab their spirits to leave them lost and wandering to and fro too dumbfounded to get up and pursue dreams and wondering what exactly does the man really mean.

I mean when you’re not sharing your body with someone it makes it easier to accept that he’s just not that into you to go ahead and sit back to allow the one true director to cast you alongside your leading guy.

Your heavenly Father. He knows the plans He has for you. To prosper, not to fail.

See I thought I was in love.

I realize now that it’s best to fall back. I pause for a praise break. In my Tye Tribbett voice, the devil thought he had me. Had I succumbed to my flesh I’d be lying in bed crying instead of preparing for four a.m. prayer, and thinking of the next workout I am going to write for myself and the endless possibilities my future holds.

Thank you Jesus.

Whom the Son sets free in free indeed.

Me going back to fornication after being delivered from it would be like walking back to a plantation saying yes I know you beat me up, lied to me, took my valuable time and life and kept me from my husband but I want to be back here with y’all.

Some did it. Don’t get me wrong.

I just know that I was set free for something great.

So I wait.

I love, but what good is love when it won’t be reciprocated because someone stays with the mindset I’ll find better, she’ll have more things and I’ll have more to brag about. Instead of the man looking for the inner woman and her potential to help him grow to be the best man he can be.

Yes. That might be tough firmness. That might mean he can’t get away with unacceptable behavior. That may mean he is held accountable for his actions.

See the only way we get better is to face what we have been and understand who we are becoming.

I felt the love of God as someone embraced me and reminded me. He let my tear streaked face linger on his shoulder as I released some more tears. I had just finished crying to God telling Him who I no longer wanted to be. And as that man spoke life to remind me of who I was becoming I realized I never in my life have released tears on the shoulder of a man. I’ve been too hard core for that.

But I look at the woman I’m becoming. I was designed to be dainty and delicate. Gracious and soft. Life hardened me. Then others come along and tell me get over it. Toughen up. Nobody else has to so I will stop being who man wants to depict me as and be who God designed me to be.

I’ve been through too many things to just sit around and act as if I’m peachy. Some days are awesome. Others I praise my way through. Either way. I must have a strong man to carry me through. So when he comes looking for me based on his response to the test of my emotions will I know if I should press forward.

I mean yes. I finally get it. Love all. But what does my love for someone that doesn’t love me have to do with anything?


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