The time is quickly approaching. A shift in my life means I am open I am no longer closing the door on any opportunities. This means business, career and relationships.

So as I begin to love me I stop loving and wanting those that don’t want me. It doesn’t matter how much I love that person. What’s love got to do with them not being able to love me the way my creator has gone through great lengths to show me I deserve.

My eyes are open.

My spiritual ones.

I am no longer looking for six packs. I am no longer looking for a certain color, or facial hair, or height, or  financial means. I mean a woman a Proverbs 31 knows what it takes to be successful so she can encourage her man. It’s not what he has but it’s what he has the potential to become.

So that being said I’m looking with spiritual eyes. I know what I will see or feel when my Boaz comes. Spiritually.

So I wait  patiently on the Lord to make sure he send what he has for me in my direction.

So. Someone I have been closer to in a past timr of my life can’t understand why no longer do I show that type of love. Well when I read the words of my master it doesn’t line up with what’s pleasing to him and our Father. So since I’ve been bought at a price and my body is the cost. I present it as a sacrifice.

I mean why would I cheat on Jesus?!?

The perfect man, literally he was the only one to walk and die this earth a perfect man.

And He takes care of me.

It seems as those that grew up in poverty look at things as a basis for making it. We arrive once we drive luxury cars and live in large homes. Wear shiny jewelry pieces, and go exotic places.

But that mask that is being worn to hide desperation, despair, loneliness, anxiety, depression, anger etc etc etc. Just to name a few has been bought just to hide what is replacing what money can’t buy. Like joy, peace, comfort, relationships, I mean real relationships where the person is loving and celebrating and speaking life into you.

See as I just ended a four hour conversation almost into the three o’clock hour a.m. I heard encouraging word after encouraging word. When the enemy wants to speak defeat or doubt, here comes Jesus using one of his followers, his disciples to remind me of the promises my master my teacher the King of King and Lord of Lords has given all of us he calls but most importantly those that have been chosen.

See. I’ve been through the disappointments of loving a man. Giving my heart to him then when I go looking for him or calling him and he is nowhere to be found. Not so with Jesus.

He said seek you shall find, ask you shall receive.

I need comfort Lord. I need peace. Like a genie of ones imagination my wish is granted only my God is real and he doesn’t stop at three. My sacrifices don’t go unnoticed and when Jesus leans over to the Father to say Radiance needs xyz, here comes Jesus!

His love is not based on a condition of what I give him. Or what I have. He just loves me.

He will neither leave me nor forsake me so I can walk away from loneliness.

Yes I want to worship in spirit and truth and anyone interested in me must be approved by my Father too. Which means he needs to approach my heavenly Father. Have a relationship to know how to deal with the delicate creature I am.

No ignoring me in ignorance unawares that my feelings are trying to drag my self worth down. No convenient love. If I can’t be a primary focus then I don’t need to be one at all. Yes. It’s an all or nothing type of thing.

See if I learn how to wait for the man that will love me like Christ did the church I will be blessed. I recently got an email to understand that better.

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

He’s going to choose you first John 15:16a reads You did not choose me, but I chose you, he’s going to love you, John 15: 9a As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you, he’ll protect you, Ps 32:7b You are my hiding place;  you will protect me from trouble, and provide for you. 1 Tim 6:17b but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. EVERYTHING.”

I should not have to tell someone a thousand times my car is acting up and he know I live in the city where violence is threatening to be met by the armed forces and he not send someone to see about my car.

I mean I see.


So I’ve learned to sit back and patiently wait on Jesus. He’s so good to me.

So again. Why would I cheat on him?


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