I used to wish I had a censor button for my lips. Then I could have more friends and more people would like me since I said things no one else wanted to say and faced words spoken against me.

I mean don’t you dare tell me what someone has to say about me. In the past I would let confrontation get a hold of me to demand a better understanding of why and how.

Now. I just sit and enjoy peace. The battle is not mine and realize maybe like the prophet Jeremiah. Some folk just going to think what they will. Some folk don’t want o hear what needs to be said, or maybe not from me. Some folks just will not like what I represent, whatever they think that is and I am finally okay with that.

So I speak. And I speak in boldness.

They say chivalry is dead. It’s not. Women are killing it. I look at previous encounters and men I had to let go of and watch the new roles and assignments they have taken on.

I wonder what stories they are going to tell their children.

Yes honey, she asked and I said yes. She had already bought the rings so I just fell in line. So when you as a woman want to get a man use your womanly wiles like Eve did to coerce this man to do something besides hear God. Even though God may be asking that man to do something else before he becomes your man disregard that. You may have to work three jobs for the rest of your life taking care of your family and die an early death to leave him to remarry with all your money the woman he is going to feel like a man with because he was able to provide, protect and profess his love to but nevermind all that. Do you baby.

Forget a man that finds a wife. The man that is coerced into being a husband is the new model these days.

See no one is speaking against real love. No hate. No shade. But let’s have real conversation.

What happens when you pick a tomato too soon? It’s green. Its not bright red ready for a nutritious salad that will promote life and wellness. Instead its getting fried up, saturated in grease to clog arteries and promote heart disease.

I mean it’s still food. But how is it going to be presented.

The same with a man. He is a man. But if a woman decides that its time for him to be her husband and uses sexual domination to catapult herself into his role that man might miss out on his season having been pulled into an assigned role too early.

Not ripe for the picking, leaves him misplaced and confused. Unhappy and abused. Eventually she will use the fact that he is not to tear him down so he never feels motivated to become.

I mean please. People talk about how Miriam and Aaron talked against Moses’ exotic wife. But the fact still remains she wasn’t the woman that was the help mate to help him get rid of his issues and get to the promised land. Facts yo. Just facts.

So I had a conversation. With the one I love. At first he said something about being a husband. Then he changed his confession to not even sure he wants a relationship.

Oh yeah. I could’ve did the old me. I could’ve pop locked and dropped it on him used a snatch him into submission move to get him to dance in harmony with my groove.

But no. But God. When God is done with him if he’s the one for me he will know. He will sacrifice. He will think like a man, Steve Harvey me. Provide, protect and profess.

See I’m so old school. A man will be a man before he can be my man.


That’s what I know.

Now. In the past I would let someone’s needs be addressed by my giving nature and big bag mentality.

I would feel like the man not knowing he was probably taking my dividends to the next chick to feel like the man providing for her needs.

That changed. I had only been with the father of my child for a month before he was co-signing a car for me and paying the notes. He did that. I let him be a man.

See a woman’s job is to help. Help him create opportunities to be better. Not do it for him. That’s what mamas do. You should lead him to water, love him into drinking, but never pick up that gallon of water to force feed him.

They say the way you get something is how you are going to have to keep it.

So I watch a friend of mine. I want to encourage. I want to take care. But no I will never buy love, time or attention.

Before a man becomes my man, he has to be a man.

So. If you change the role. Don’t complain about the toll. It will take. Drinking, fake partying sorrows away. Instead of feet up being taken care of the way a man is supposed to do.

The word says the man will love his wife as Christ loves the church.

He will love, choose, protect and provide. Everything.

So. Let seed grow into fruit. It will yield good produce in good time. If we let God be God and beat our own fleshly desires into submission. We can let God’s spirit move in our own lives.

Yes. Patience. In due time. It comes together for those who love God.

Yeah I said it. I’m sorry I’m not sorry, but until we allow these men to stay in their roles and lanes they won’t be able to hear God and lead like Joseph did Mary.

Be lead. Then learn to follow. It can save one a life of frustration, tears and sorrow.


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