So.

I’m kind of enjoying this public transportation thing.

My po’ lil car is not, as the weeds have started to grow up on the side of it because of the none movement.

However, the patience that is really being built up on my heart is a plus. The humility that comes with not telling all the other riders that come along that I have a car is most definitely a plus. I mean what would I try to prove trying to tell another that no I’m really not on this public transportation level because I have a car at home. Fact still remains. I’m on it though.

Pride comes before the fall.

Lord knows I have fallen enough thinking too highly of myself.

Forget looks. Or the fact my ponytails high on my head reached my shoulders. Brown girl long hair. Yes. There were enough oohs and ahhs as a child. I won’t even go into what happened when I got to Boston for the ego. It was never supposed to be a part of me.

My problem was my intelligence. I was always one of the smartest in class. Looks fade I knew. My intelligence would take me far so I thought. Not understanding my life of folly made me a fool.

Anyway back to transportation.

So the bus driver has taken a little liking to me.

I try to avoid his run. First off it will make me late to pick my daughter and secondly I’m just letting go of something that means me no good so I’m not opening up again until my Daddy says, yes He is the one I want to choose you.

Anyway, I can’t help being friendly.

That’s my nature.

The man lying sick on my grandmas couch needing a couple dollars to get his fix will get a plate if I’m at the stove. My love is not bound by what I want in return from people. I don’t only be nice to those pleasing to the eye, or I’m interested in pursuing. I’m kind to everyone.

This is my new Life. I have decided to walk into it.

Yeah I know this is really hard to believe for those that knew me from a past life. But Jesus. He is still healing. His miracles did not stop in the bible.

How could such a big God confine his words to a page. Jesus as the Son showed us all His marvelous capabilities. Would not he continue to do the same things today?

Yes. I am a believer.

Anyway back to the story. I love to digress because I can’t help my rants.

So after being around my daughters camp too long I wind up catching the driver. He says he’s been wondering where I’ve been.

I’m like. I’m not going to be late on purpose to catch you. My job as woman is not to pursue. So I won’t.

As I’m laughing about that a lady gets on the bus.

Hey mean guy, she says to him.

He just ignores her.

Yes the often pursued man feels as if every woman that speaks to them, looks their way, or smiles wants them.

So he begins telling me about her.

Yes.

See far too few women have wanted to be my friend in times past so male friends were a staple. They would explain all the stuff women did that I learned a lot from. I didn’t need brothers the way these men schooled me about life, but when I finally met my father’s son. My big brother confirmed what had always been told to me by those friends.

Anyway the driver tells me she always talking to me and calling me mean trying to get me involved in a conversation. He was trying to get me to believe she liked him.

That’s the oldest trick in the book. Building up that spirit of competition in women. As if to say, If you don’t want me she does, so you better hop on board before she catch me.

No, men know exactly what they want whether they are bold enough to pursue it or not.

Yes. I watch women pursue men. If they pursue a man with no financial means they wind up taking care of him roles reversed. If he is financially stable it boosts his ego making him feel as if everyone is on the same agenda. Many might be. Everyone is not. Like this lady for instance writing these seemingly never ending soliloquies.

So the pride. Building one’s self up while tearing down others in order to ignore the personal issues that keep people angry, defensive and using words that don’t up build.

Yes. I keep singing my song. Shake me break me make me humble. I need the reminder. I want humility to clothe me like a blanket.

It comes before the fall which means once it’s checked one can stand in whatever it is they are pursuing. I want that. I strive for that. No more making myself to be anything other than a child of the Most High. He is everything. I am nothing without Him.

Since He doesn’t approve of a haughty heart, It really is just that simple.

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