Someone asked me was I at 1:30 service.

I already knew where this question was headed.

Yes that was me leaping because my spirit was overjoyed to have the confirmation I needed and not still be caught in confusion.

I have learned that the reason God shows me things is because He knows I am a keeper of His secrets. I pray for who I need to pray for and talk to who He wants me to talk to.

That jumping though. I was so happy!

That camera though. See I’m really camera shy.

Where I used to take an incessant amount of selfies in an old life now I’m not so interested. Let my words be my picture now as you see my heart which is better than the physical.

See I watch my grandmother looking in a mirror wondering when did life hand her her new image. She’s seventy five. She’s been married to my grandfather for over fifty years a man seventy seven and still Working 12 hour days because he wants to. But she’s concerned about how he looks at her.

She’s worried about her looks because in her time and still today people not understanding the treasure brown skin really is, place more importance on lighter shades. She’s worried about her looks because granddad still works, still climbs on garage roofs to fix them. Maybe some fine younger thing might come.

But no. My grandfather doesn’t have a chair. He got the chair from his job in retirement, yes the retirement he could barely sit still for six months in before he was back at work, and made it a throne for my grandmother. He gets up quickly when she wakes up to make her way to her seat so that she can be comfortable. She sleeps in until way past noon and hasn’t worked for at least three decades. As long as I can remember.

See that was a love of my grandmother for who she was. Who she still is.

I watch the people struggling with their addictions come to sell my grandmother anything they think she may find valuable.

I carry on her traditions and make sure if I am around a hungry belly gets filled. See my grandmother used to cook for almost the whole neighborhood. Known for her kind and generous nature she made sure hungry folk ate.

My father did too as he would quote scriptures here and there to the lost out of a tattered bible and get grandmas leftovers to feed whatever posse of societies throw aways would come knocking at his door.

It was the inner people that made people love them.

My father’s funeral procession was so long I could only shake my head at the people that had to wait. Even after having been in an accident that disfigured his face and the handsome jovial life of the party lost his identity in thinking his outward appearance is what made him beautiful.

So now. I am learning the same thing. As I learn to trust in what the Lord shows me and gives I believe that whatever door He is opening no man can close.

So I continue to ask Him to make me beautiful in preparation. Forget the beauty on the outside. That comes with the transformation on the inside. So for His glory.

No more need to be fearful when its time to walk courageously. Its time to be strengthened. Its to be healed and allow the inner woman to shine forth. Its time to trust in the things he shows me.

Yes my God is choosy so I want to make sure his call doesn’t fall on deaf ears.

Yes. Its time to trust and believe. Not in the things man sees, but in the ways God does. Seeing the heart.

So I put on my xray vision glasses to examine myself. We all can. Willing to have all residue removed so I can come forth when God chooses me.

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