My time, to show how God shines to clean up debris from a fully hardheaded life time.


Its time to give what I owe.

I’ll never forget.

I told God He could take over my life when I turned a certain age. I remember when I turned this age it was 80 degrees in the Spring. My daughter was just toddling along still unable to walk and it was quiet. No turn up nothing.

I promised and God was coming to get me.

I had done enough damage to the thing he gifted me with trying to run. I hid words in notebooks only performing sometimes because a lot of the poets I heard at open mic were so good. I felt mediocre and insignificant.

I knew from the moment I saw Def Poetry Jam on Broadway that’s what I wanted. Flipping nouns and verbs became spectacular showcase of my cleverness. Or what I thought to be. But when I saw I wasn’t the best I never pushed to be better.

Everything is crafted. Every art can be improved with practice.

So anyway I am waiting in this new leg of my life because the last time I performed a piece my baby was in my belly and mother hood became too much after that.

Anyway I knew the power of words and their effect on me. See hip-hop was the love of my life. I really only tolerated most dudes for short seasons. They never moved me like my a powerful song could. See I wanted conscious hip hop. Mos Def and Talib Kweli. My first hip hop concert was Common. Then Talib. Then Ja Rule. Then Redman. Then Jay-Z. Then Kanye. Busta Rhymes. The list is trapped in a failing memory as I choose to forget my past life. But anyway I was supposed to see Mos aka Yaasin Bey  a few weeks ago meet and greet but he wasn’t stepping back in the US. Anyway I saw my faves repeatedly.

Kanye almost gave me a glass when he sang come on and raise your glass with me. But my wrist band was missing. He didn’t know I was over twenty one. Ja gave me a hug since my girl knew his body guard and I was given the chance to meet him. Where is he anyway??

But anyway. I loved the spoken words over soulful beats. Jay dilla made musical chemistry. Nothing could compare to that feeling.

The last concert I went to was Jay and Ye. Free99 call in to GCI and I was getting my last taste of these people that used their words to glorify themselves. I didn’t understand what I was feeling while I was there but I do now.

So when I heard Bey was about to come to Chicago with hubby I was ready. Card in hand to charge. But I heard be still. I did. I went to bible study instead.

I mean for real I love hip hop.

And missing out on a concert. So not me. Plus I’ve never seen Beyonce?!? Never checked for her. I was way more hip-hop than R&B.

But now I want to. I want to share words that may just set someone free. Everyone has a story and if we all sit back thinking we the only one the person who wasn’t as strong as us through our rough times may just give in to the pressure.

Words are powerful.

I have been equipped with weaponry. Now I use positivity as the root of my artillery. Gods word speaking through me.

Yeah. Gifts should never be wasted. I hope I once again get the chance to use mine.


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