I don’t understand the whole caterpillar and butterfly thing.
How many shirts, mugs, tattoos do you see of caterpillars? I’ll wait. I really want to know.
I see the meme’s saying if you didn’t want me while I was a caterpillar don’t come looking for me when I’m the butterfly.
Have you ever paid attention to how that sounds?
First of all a caterpillar is a helpless slowly moving creature that is just waiting on a cocoon to hide in order to make sure the birds don’t make it dinner. They even get eaten by fellow caterpillars. Sounds familiar, hurt people hurt people, and caterpillars want to make sure they are the only blossoming beauty in the bunch so eating another alive and killing it is second nature.
Ladies. Is there a revelation in that?
Caterpillars even have six eyes. Still. Can not form an image. How would I even know if something is for me or against me when my eyesight is limited and hasn’t been fully developed?
That’s right. I sit and chill. I question ostensibly the ones that are interested in a caterpillar in the stage before becoming a butterfly.
I mean for real. What could one possibly want? Why would I want anyone to want me when the goal is to make me the best me I can be so I don’t have to ruin something amazing, lost in my own insecurities. Then i become the one trying to eat the other caterpillars, running around, and mad because who I am with is constantly keeping their eyes peeled for a butterfly. You know the one I missed out on becoming putting someone else before me when in solitude I was supposed to allow God to redefine me.
I almost got caught up. I stay still some days to listen so I won’t get caught by folks lurking again.
Because really the only thing checking for a caterpillar is a predator.
So no. I know how messed up I am as a caterpillar and if you checking for me in this state you recognize the negative traits I am struggling to be rid of. You know, all those hidden things that eventually get left behind in the cocoon.
Now when the butterfly emerges everyone whose path she crosses can’t help but notice the change, but guess what.
That’s right butterflies land. Which means they get a choice in the matter. They land and if the hand they land atop decides they want to cuff the butterfly then look there is a match made in heaven.
So no. Don’t check for me while I am growing. I’m becoming something awesome and amazing. However, when I do become that something awesome and amazing check for me. I just want to let you know didn’t nobody do it but God!
Now I can “spread my wings and fly away. To a place that I long for” no need for pride or revenge. Just a deep desire to love those even the ones that will or have rejected me. That’s not to say I act on the feelings I just share what God has given me to.
Yes. Cocoon hatching is soon coming upon us.
So right now I fall in love with me. I need to be a friend to someone anyone before I can be anything more to them. Since I am working on sister bonding right now male friends are far few and in between.
That’s right. I am learning to check myself. Not exalt myself. Humble myself in my refining and redefining season. I am only interested in being who I was called to be. So yes. The cocoon is necessary. I wouldn’t want someone to want me as a caterpillar when it is only a measure of how wonderful I will eventually become. In Gods timing. His divine time is purposeful.
So patience. Now. A moment of silence. My redefining stage requires focus solely on my daughter and me.
So I will. So I do.