Its not all about what’s easy.
Sometimes when you truly want something and its really worth it you have to work.
So 2012 I received my assignment. I knew it had to be a blessing from God because I was working at the bus company trying to ward off the attention of the sugar daddy bus drivers when one told me of an opening at the building next door for a CNA program.
That’s the new prerequisite for nursing programs everywhere. CNA certification. So yes. I’ll take it.
However I had some growing to do.
I took my free class with the free books and uniforms and a weekly bus pass until I revived my first check from my first job and knew that was no coincidence. What others paid a hefty price for it was given to me, freely.
I didn’t want to change my attitude. I thought something about being too good to clean up an elderly person who probably brought so much life to other people. Whose life had probably been more of a blessing than mine ever would. I had a heart problem.
It was hard and hurt from the losses I had sustained and couldn’t help but take out my frustrations on the people around me.
So I gave it up. I went back used my CDL to drive just to make money, but my heart was ministered to. My heart was beginning to be healed. The people I drove talked to me sometimes with the fire of God but mostly in love. Then they would pray for me.
I knew when it was time for me to leave that position but I chose to stay. Until my back was injured in an accident at work to force me out.
Yes. But I’m back now. Back where I was originally placed.
The playful banter of my residents that we engage in keeps me laughing and a smile on their faces. I am there to bring light. I am there to be reminded that I was accepted into my nursing program once. I can be accepted again. So I shall.
Science is fun.
Helping people who can’t help themselves is God’s work through human hands.
So I forget about what’s easy. The easy route always ends up being a problem. You miss the lessons you were supposed to learn along the way. But in this society of fast food chains, and quick easy meals from the store in boxes and frozen pans we have this processed mentality that prevents us from savoring the flavor of life.
I shall savor.
I shall enjoy.
I shall learn. Live. Love.
Know that my journey was built for me to not be a softy, but hard enough to deal with the traumas of patients while loving enough to encourage their loved ones.
I ran from it for years.
But like diamonds, like pearls beautiful this come from an ugly process. From struggle comes strength.
So in my weaknesses I allow Gods strength to mold me into everything He wants me to be.