I see my cousin/brother happier than I have ever seen him.

Its funny.

I am happy for him.

I have seen his struggle through women that were not all that good to him. Yet I saw his heart put heart and soul into relationships.

I know the struggle.

His girlfriend is latina. I told him latinas rock. One of the best female friends I had is Dominican. When we would want to go out her boyfriend would pay for both of us, come pick us up before she knew how to drive and let us go to town. I’m like ah hah. That’s how a man is supposed to dote on his woman.

I took notes.

I set my standards high.

So I’m happy for my brother/cousin who is really just a childhood friend who became a strength for me and me for him at tough periods in our lives.

We were there for each other to lift each other at hard times. Struggling together. Finding strength together.

So I am encouraged.

Today I see one of the nurses walk in with flowers. She also has a bag full of orange juice, fruit, tissues etc. Because she is sick she says.


That’s what I’m talking about.

I said there is still hope.

She says the secret is to make sure he is not American.

Ah hah.

Yes. I have loved good men. None of them were American.

Some American men want to physically fight. Want to cheat. Want to verbally abuse. Want to give attention they are supposed to be giving to his woman to a variety of women. Yeah a man that flirts too much is a red flag for me. Why even give a woman a sense of false hope when women are emotional creatures.

That’s some of those American men for you.

The only checklist that truly matters is the one where a man has been a good dude to the women he has dealt with. Not giving all his attention and time to women he is not interested in just to boost a faltering ego.

I get it now.

Men have tried to get close these past few years. So I check back up on them. Just because I let someone go doesn’t mean I don’t love them. That just means I love myself too much to allow someone to flirt and play with me and have no real intentions.

So I teach them. I show them how a woman should be treated if you want her to be a help mate. A woman can’t help a man if he is constantly hurting, abusing, and creating an emotionally insecure environment for her.

A married woman should never have to worry about another woman wanting what she made covenant with because that man should be doing everything he needs to to make her feel like she is all that will ever matter to him.


So. I’ve helped some be better for who they are with now. That makes me smile. I always told them if you’re not the one then move out the way because the one God created for me is going to be blinded by the rays you are stealing from me making me believe I am the one. All the while missing me in the process because you’re in the WAY!!


SO MOVE. … Get out the way.


I stay encouraged.

I may have to wait awhile. Maybe someone who only dated none American men got the one who is waiting on me together already. Or maybe again. I am going to be given an assignment and this time I have the patience to carry this one out to fruition.

I know what I deserve.

I cannot settle for less. I am not picky. Just choosy. Backgrounds and history of a persons past don’t phase me. We are all new creatures in Christ. But a humble spirit and kind heart is really all I need.

Material things will never equate to happiness. Looks fade when bad attitudes surface. So. I will stop limiting myself. Be clear with an open mind and know. Something’s ate meant to be and some things are preparation for the real thing.

This time though I plan on passing the test!


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