Sometimes you get to a point if being done.

So done.

Forget a fork. This steak is now inedible. No one wants it so it had to be prepared for the trash.

I mean. You gave it time to cook. It took too long and you realize what you once wanted is no longer speaking to your palate.

I mean steak used to be the main course. But I’m a vegan now. I’m only putting veggies on my plate these days.

So no thank you. Boo boo.

I’m not talking smoky the bear or maybe I am.

See I’m getting a hold of this love thing. This past summer I reinvested in an old love. Until I realized he was only interested in playing mind games. He was not acquainted with the new kept me. My sacrificial life which means I couldn’t lay on his altar was not appealing to him. So he just kept on trying to manipulate me. With manipulation comes control. With control I can be coerced into doing the things I have turned away from just so someone can have bragging rights.

Yeah she said she was a good church lady but ha ha, I got a hold of her. You already know bro.

Yeah. No thank you.

I’m good.

I tried understanding how a person could claim they wanted to get in touch with someone so much so that they constantly came to knock on back doors, putting numbers on car window shields, so much so my family thought i had a stalker lurking. But once they got the attention they were looking for, they made an escape.

Maybe off to the left with what has always been easy and convenient. Maybe still not getting what they want from the apple they have to climb to the too of the tree to get makes easy and convenient laying around on the ground, makes a man feel like a bigger one.

Whatever it is. I’m too old for the game. Lately I’ve been too tired to play. In between taking care of my Father’s business and my daughters needs and living my life. Either you for me or you’re not.

I mean all this searching and knocking on doors. If you want to make something happen with another person some simple plans will do the trick.

How about we head downtown. Grab a bite to eat. Talk a bit. You dig. Nothing big, no fancy dinner, no pretenses just the simple things in life that makes for big memories.

See riding through the hood was for my younger years. When you carry the thoughts of a child you tend to allow the same behavior to manifest.

I’m good.

So good.

No more explaining what should have been understood. No more frustrations for what I want that won’t act right. It simply just gets left. Behind.

It’s time to move on.

Loving self mandates that only the best is accepted. Best treatment. Best interactions. Best people. Best actions. You don’t have to work hard. Just work smart.

So I am learning to accept some things may never change. I just have to. And keep it moving.

I won’t get anything new in my cup if I am continually holding on to the old that won’t do what it takes to fill me up.

So I pour out those feelings for what was never supposed to be for me into God my Father, Jesus, my daughter, and me myself personally.

See if I seek first the kingdom all other this will be added unto me.

So he has been subtracted. If and when someone new comes along we can multiply Gods blessings, dividing a line between the old and the new to add happiness together.

Yes xy=z. I like that equation because the ending of a thing is better than the beginning.

I’ve lived I’ve learned, if you ask me I’m ready. God may say something differently. So I wait patiently.

Yes. Its been a while.

I am ready for love.


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