My friend from childhood asked me a Question when I told him I was no longer interested in the religion of our youth and was now going to another place to worship.

After a little head shaking in amazement and questions regarding everything we had been taught he said, “What makes you so special that God will tell you something He doesn’t tell the rest of us.”

I can’t begin to imagine.

But He does. He always seems to hear me.

Like when I was pregnant. I asked of one thing for my daughter. Shamed to say it had nothing to do with her health but still He gave it to me along with her health.

I asked though.

I notice people looking at me. I catch them look then turn away so as not to speak and I ask God why.

He gives a reply and up until today I thought it may have been me always thinking someone doesn’t like me for no good reason.

So I am about to hand something to someone. I hear that same old voice tell me one person was going to say no thank you to what I had to offer. Indeed the person did. When I felt the urge to look I saw them holding what they rejected from me after being given it by someone else.

People who have their own feelings of inadequacies try to push their insecurities off on others. So no, how could I take offense. I had already been warned. I was prepared. I have been through all types of hell on earth to let the enemy try to use someone to reject something to get me to question myself about being good enough. I don’t care anymore who I am not good enough for if I am good enough in the eyes of my Father.

Yes He hears me. He shows me. He speaks. I listen. I look. I am willing to be guided.

Again I wonder why.

So I am doing some research on David.

Why was David a man after Gods own heart?

We all know about Bathsheba but before that.

When David was on the run from Saul he would pillage through whole towns and kill every inhabitant in that land leaving no one behind as witnesses.

I had this conversation with someone about if someone has killed someone does that make them a killer. No one can give a man a name but God, but humans do it to justify their own behavior. Like I ain’t never killed anyone. I just backbite, gossip, betray, be hypocritical, try to pull the lint out of my brothers eye and there is a whole log in mine cause my heart and my motives are wrong.


Yeah. David did things. His things were a result of his circumstances. But his heart was inclined towards pleasing God and being submissive to Him. Even though Saul was his enemy he knew that was Gods anointed and avenged his death and the death of those from his house because He understood the serious nature of touching Gods anointed.

Yet some can’t seem to stop killing folks with words.

I know. I see that which I have experienced or used to be and since I have been through a lot I recognize a lot of former traits and things in others. Especially the things that are a daily constant struggle. I just know how to keep my mouth off Gods appointed people.

So yeah. David. A man after Gods own heart was willing to obey. He sought God on most occasions before he acted. When he did wrong he accepted his judgement and still was able to give God glory instead of sulking and angry that a righteous and holy God who has been a God to constantly deliver him out of the hands of his enemies is still God deserving of praise and honor.

As I sat talking to a young woman today about not beating herself up over falling. Just use Jesus as the crutch He made himself to be when He said He would bear our sins and get right back on up. Fall seven times get up eight.

See like Solomon somethings just become a part of our bloodline and we struggle for the rest of our lives. But still God is the only one that can see the heart if the inner man.

So yes. I’m still wondering why God tells me, loves me when I know who I used to be.

Yet I fall back and accept this grace and mercy he so patiently and lovingly doles out and know I am a new creature in Christ.

I mean my Savior came to save those in need of saving so who is anyone to ever question Gods ways which are not like our ways.

Yes. Indeed. I will fall back and accept. My God is big and wonderful. There is more than enough of Him to go around. So its time to let Go of human thought and let God’s Holy Spirit lead.

You’d be amazed what you learn when you learn to fall in line with submission and follow.


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