I keep hearing these people call me sweet.
“You such a sweetheart.” Or. “You so sweet.”
I resist the urge to give the person they talking to behind me a petty ugh face. Like what’s so sweet about her, until I realize they talking about me.
Oh yeah. Today’s my day came a few days ago. When he changed my name. I will never be the same.
My co-worker said he had a hangover. I asked him what did he drink. He said goose. Then he said he mixed it with Tequila.
Oh. I said. That’s the problem. You can’t mix all your liquors. The hard ones anyway. But tequila always stands alone.
Yes. Tequila stands alone. And I use to salt, drink, lime it like a pro. Never too much, never too much, never too much. In my Luther Vandross voice.
So here he comes paying my wristlet attention. It says detour. It has the scripture 1 John 3:7 on it. He wants to know what detour means.
It means D.etermined E.veryday T.o O.perate U.nder R.ighteousness. see my scripture tells me 1Jo 3:7 Dear children, do not let anyone lead you astray. He who does what is right is righteous, just as he is righteous.
Yes. I can no longer be led astray.
I had a discussion with one of Jehovah’s Witnesses a few weeks ago. As he was trying to enlighten me, I politely let him know that I was born into that religion. A couple of years ago as I was asking God to reveal himself to me I was kicked out the religion. Over the course of time I have had God show me how indoctrinated I was, and how those doctrines don’t line up with His word.
He began to ask me, “Well. If you don’t come back to us, what religion will you go to?”
I quoted a scripture. Jam 1:27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
See. When I being a single woman. Mother dead. Father dead. Abusive mate, and going to live in a Domestic Violence shelter fearful for my safety and that of my daughters not one of them looked after us. They just kept trying to push their doctrines and books on me. That’s fine. If you believe in that sort of thing. But we needed looking after. So how did that line up with Gods word?
He says don’t add to or take away from His word. How plain as day could that get?
Yet. I was not angry with him. I just kept quoting scriptures. With a smile on my face. No combatting, no arguing. I stated facts. With love. We talked about how they teach that paradise is going to be on earth. When clearly Paul said the vision was of Paradise being in the third heaven. Heaven. Not earth.
2Corinthians 12:2 I know a man in Christ who fourteen years ago was caught up to the third heaven. Whether it was in the body or out of the body I do not know–God knows. 12:3 And I know that this man–whether in the body or apart from the body I do not know, but God knows– 12:4 was caught up to paradise. He heard inexpressible things, things that man is not permitted to tell.
Do not add to. Not take away.
He continued to try to talk to me but I reminded him of who God said was a false prophet and that he admonished us to stay away from them. So I explained to him what I found and how I can recognize a false prophet.
Deu 18:22 If what a prophet proclaims in the name of the LORD does not take place or come true, that is a message the LORD has not spoken. That prophet has spoken presumptuously. Do not be afraid of him.
Fearful of the rules of man. Calling me disfellowshipped when there is nothing in the Bible that says if a person commits a sin no one should speak to them. Literally people who have known me for over thirty years wont speak to me. Not a greeting. I’m okay with people not speaking to me. I was conditioned a long time ago. My feelings don’t hurt easily. So here I am under rules of man. I have a daughter out of wedlock. My obvious sin was fornication. But when the sinful woman came to Jesus wanting forgiveness He gave it to her. I called for forgiveness.
They called me that name.
Over the phone.
No meeting. As usual the routine. And no prayer.
Its okay. I had been asking God to reveal himself to me. I guess he was letting me know, I am not amongst them.
The more I change. All I can think of is I wanted to be a different person all my life. I wanted to lay my ego to the side. I wanted a better attitude. I didn’t want to snap on disrespectful or mean people. I didn’t want to curse anyone out. I didn’t want to continually share my body with men who never cared to know the workings of my mind enough to place a ring on my finger. I wanted to change.
So my Pastor preached at bible study the other day. Some of y’all left your denominations, he said.
Yes. I did.
He explained his job was to get us into the presence of the Glory. Yes. When the Glory is present it breaks chains and strongholds. It breaks my desire for a sinful nature.
If I want it.
So here I am.
Almost two years smoke free. No drinks now for a few months. But the way I used to get drunk has been gone for over two years. Celibacy over a year now. I haven’t cursed someone out since May. If you’re still reading my blogs over here dear friend. I apologize again. My attitude is one of light and love, and positivity.
I asked for change. I asked Him to shake me break me, make me humble.
I cannot brag on these things as if I did them. No. God delivered me from it.
My crazy disposition. I would go off on anyone if I didn’t like what they were saying to me, or how they were looking at me. Here I am now, ignoring, letting residents call me B’s, saying eff you, and laughing it off.
The battle is not mine.
I stand changed. By the grace and mercy of Gods extended hand. No longer looking for man to validate me nor recognize me.
So if someone doesn’t choose to add me to their circle. Its alright. I wasn’t assigned to be connected to you. The people I love, know, and grew up with all believe Jesus is Michael the Archangel. So yeah. There’s a work to be done for the Lord.
Sometimes though. Its okay. To just love the differences in people. And not expect them to be like you.
And when I told the Jehovah’s Witness man something to that effect that all we were called to do is love, he got angry and told me. “Lady. You’re right where you deserve to be.”
That’s right. In God my Father, and Jesus my Lord and Savior sitting at His right hands care and keeping. Sending the Holy Spirit my friend, and comforter to protect me and be with me always.
My three for one.
I am changed.
My name is changed. No more Rae-Rae. I am Radiance.
Radiance: Radiant brightness or light.
Yes. I was born. God put this name in my mothers path. Since I’ve been brought out of darkness and because of the rules of the religion I was raised in most of my childhood friends would not step inside a church. Maybe I was born to find the truth and shed light.
Only God knows.
So I stand still. Waiting. While continuously working. And still determined everyday to operate under righteousness.