Somehow women got the ‘game’ all messed up.

They talk about how they need a man for this. They need a man for that. What they need in a man.

Wrong. Epic fail.

Now don’t get me wrong. I never bought into feminism. I don’t go into that whole independent woman thing. If I am single then yes, I must be independent. But if I have a man then I have to come into subjection to him and hopefully will have chosen a man of God that will come into subjection to Christ which will make me being in submission all the easier.

Yes. I can do it alone. But we were created in pairs so get this.

We were created to help a man.

Not the other way around.

See what happened with that man, he gave a huge sacrifice for the woman. He went into a deep sleep, gave his rib for his woman and woke up to find the one that he thought was there to help him so when she helped him help himself to a piece of forbidden fruit he like Mary J, went down.

Cause he no longer was able to be around.


Man and God. Woman and man. Three makes one.

Just like Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

Three makes one.

That don’t mean we are one and the same, we are just three in one mind and one union to create one whole being!

Its a mind thing.


No I don’t need a man. I get help from my male coworkers because I am told by society I am supposed to be dainty and feminine. As if muscles negate my femininity. But I can life a two hundred pound person by myself. I was in labor for forty hours. Yes. Sunday night, Monday night. Tuesday morning. Momma deceased, Father deceased. Only child, at that time. And a slew of frenemies, and a other half of that baby sending me messages by MySpace calling me out my name.

Whatever yo. Strength is not just in the pounds my muscles can carry, its the mental obstacles and sometimes physical manifestation of pain in the body that one goes through and overcomes.

Yes. I am an overcomer.

In being an overcomer I am a woman who knows how to help a man.

So many women have potential in a good man, but because they are willing to accept them at their menial levels they miss out on the dynamic and dynamite person he was created to become.

You know what I am talking about. The woman that allows the man to have his many women and still puts up with being one of many. Or the woman that allows a man to verbally abuse her, physically abuse her and never holds him accountable for his actions so he is in a mind state that it is okay for him to continue to be the same person.

Trust me. I know about respect. Only one man has ever EVER called me out my name, and/or put his hands on me and after his correction, in a place where strangers became mates, inmates became basketball buddies, he changed his tune and has never called me one again.

Because I know my role as a woman.

My mother married my stepfather. He was making less than six dollars an hour. They were borrowing money from me the seventeen year old go getter. Buy when it was all said and done. Nine years later the year my mother died he was making over seventy thousand dollars a year, no degree. Just a highschool diploma.


The man who finds a wife. Finds a good thing.

Every woman with a ring ain’t no wife. I know. I had one once. His mother gave him her ring for me but I couldn’t push him to his potential.

I could be pretty though. I could keep him comfortable in my arms missing his soccer games because the rain made cuddling the thing to do, afterwards, instead of pointing him in the direction of discipline and his future and goals.

Yes. I had a ring. I was not a wife.

The man that finds a wife. Not a woman he puts a ring on her finger. Because its about how she is going to help him. Not spend all his money. Not give him sorrow and grief. Not beat him up with reminders of the past. Not worry about other women, because when a woman is confident and sure of herself she don’t have to even mention the others.

She knows that she is the prize!

Yes. Now that’s confidence!!

So. I think of the time I had been wifed up with no ring.

Three years of my life. I spent dreaming big with him. We started off in junior college together. He believed that going to school would bring him happiness. I saw his genius mind struggling with schoolwork. I would from time to time do his work for him. I’m good at writing, so I would write his papers. But we dreamed.

We created a visual.

He wanted to cut hair. I said pursue your dreams. He wanted to make beats. I would let him go crazy on fruity loops that was on my computer. Over ten years ago. I loved him. I just couldn’t be honest about not being in love with him. I pushed him but I didn’t want him for myself. I know how to be honest about feelings. So I am.

Anyway these days he’s a master barber, producing beats and loving on the woman that truly loves him for him.

Yes. Women help men. And a wife is supposed to help a man be the best he can be. She is supposed to teach him things. He will do the same for her. It is an exchange. Its like two puzzle pieces coming together to create a beautiful picture.

So no. I don’t need a man. I am finally okay with the truth. I want one. But only at the right time with the right one. I refuse to settle for less than what God has PREPARED for me. I know how to date and enjoy me. I walk in confidence so that means I know how to walk alone. Solo.

Everyone doesn’t need to know every step taken or every move made. Something’s are better left a beautiful secret away from the eyes of fake friends, and desirous and envious wanters. Those who want what you have and speak against what you are holding onto.

So. Women want. Men need. And want. But wanting what’s best for you is really about discernment and allowing God to lead.

Because really guys? What kinda woman are you going to find if you don’t let God lead you to her? A man that doesn’t follow, won’t be the man she allows to lead her because sometimes we need a little growth and maturity and freedom from the past before we can move into our new best selves.

Can’t run forever.

So stand firm. Stand for what you believe. Stand on Gods perfect love! And stand on your own two feet. Because sometimes when a woman teaches a man how to love her the man that chooses to love her the way she wants to be is the one preparing to do what needs to be done to keep her.

So yes. I want a man. Only if he’s my man. I need God, so I believe He will lead me to the man He has chosen specifically for me!


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