What kind of title does a man get in a courtship?

If he’s not my man is he my man friend? Is he my boo thang? My boo? My bae? My honey bun? My honey? My dear? Baby?

I mean what about him being my friend?

Why do we live in a society that places so much pressure on what we call each other?

One of my favorite songs is Unconventional ways by Jazzyfatnastees. “Don’t need no car, no picket fence, to show the world that we connect. Don’t need no church, or diamond ring, to prove our loves a lasting thing.”

While that is the motive in a relationship for me. I don’t need it because that is a reflection for the rest of the world to see when what we do together is between us and God.

So I’m Facebook lurking. Being nosy. Can’t help it. If I could give free relationship advice to all women. I mean every woman who I cuffed up and listened to me is somewhere married with the man of their dreams.

all dreams are different. Never the less, facts are facts.

So on being nosy a couple is having an unstable time. Of course they are. They took momentum of a situation called it a relationship and moved too fast. Not to mention the kissing and loving on of someone they barely knew. Getting the flesh involved. Who knows what else.

Yes. We all know where letting our flesh lead take us.

When I was in my worldly mind frame, I slept with every man I didn’t want to be with. I knew the problems would erupt, and my first boyfriend explained to my mind of virginal thoughts, some women you marry. Some women you sleep with.

Ahhah. Jackpot!

Some men are never meant to be attached to longer than acts of intimacy that go outside of Gods covenant arrangement. Acts of the flesh.

Well anyway fleshly behaviors beget us fleshly outcomes.

I can’t see myself taking pictures of myself almost naked and expecting my man to not be expecting me to be half naked in his presence and then wanting what goes with nakedness.

Sounds like I did a teaser thing. The art of manipulation which involves the art of seduction. To play my role as Eve. Bite Adam. Because I want to force and coerce you into carrying our relationship further than where God has given you permission to take it, by using my feminine wiles to get you off the course of thinking God has directed you towards.

No. I would be acting like a woman of the world and not a woman of God if I did those things.

That’s not judgement and that’s not shade. It’s facts. Maybe the truth in setting folks free was always designed to hurt, or convict. Then I get beat down for voicing it.

Sorry I’m not sorry. But loving everyone with the love of Christ means I don’t want anyone out here looking crazy. And if you love me and see me doing something crazy correct me as well. It’s all about running this Christian race to receive a prize.

And ladies you can’t know that a man is supposed to be your husband when you are letting your flesh take the lead because it’s hard to hear Gods voice above the scream of our flesh!

So. Maybe it’s about a little decency. Maybe it’s about a little patience. Maybe it’s about taking time to get to know a person to see if you can deal with all their idiosyncrasies before you give a title. Titles mean nothing if the actions don’t line up.

I can be title less and be more faithful than I’ve ever been, or have a title and have twenty other boyfriends. It’s all about my desires.

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

Galatians 5:22-23 | NIV

The first fruit of the spirit is love, and we all know that love is patient. Slow to anger means we can utilize the fruitage of the spirit which is kindness and gentleness.

It looks like we would all do well to cultivate these fruitages in our lives and relationships, before we get a title. Let Gods love permeate so self love can be sufficient before we try to love another person.

I may not know it all. I never want to. Relying on God for His wisdom means I can always stay close to him. But I can also have success in the relationships He has given me to be a good steward over.

After all it’s always been about hearing Him say, well done my good and faithful servant.

Sometimes being a servant means doing what we don’t want to do, like Christ did for us. But it’s only in loving God more than we love anyone else that we can love people the way He loves us. That may be just to serve them, man woman alike. Titles or no titles.

Because in the end God is a business man. Marriage is a covenant, his contract of promise and protection between two people. And in the end we all serve a purpose, one we may not necessarily like in the end. But if it’s for the glory of God sometimes we just have to humble ourselves and submit to God.

It’s really just preparation for what God has for us in the end!


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