I turned 34 years old on Friday!
I hoped the man I been praying would get it together for almost two years would be the first one to say happy birthday. He didn’t, but I said in my mind days earlier the first person to wish me a happy birthday was going to be special.
A special person for this special season.
A season where past meets future and a new me turns down turning up to make the right turn for life.
Me: the woman so used to the turn up. Used to bouncin off walls unable to stand just barely containing her liquor was sober as a turtle.
But I was high off the power of words and powerful deliveries.
Man I’ll take an intelligent man, with a passion for bettering society than someone with a narcissistic complex, selfishly interested in bragging and showboating!
Don’t let a pretty, somewhat youthful, restored by The Lord type of face get you fooled. I can go deep.
How far down the rabbit hole you wanna go. I never been one for the miseducation of society.
I’ll read my own books and write my own curriculum.
Anyway. Happy belated birthday to me!
I did exactly what I wanted to do. In a beautiful space of love and laughter freedom to produce and create. I stood on the floor being given the opportunity to express my art form which I hadn’t done since I was nine months pregnant with my daughter. Right? Pregnant? Nine months no less.
The same poem I performed for my mother on her death bed as she clapped her hands *chop chop* and demanded I perform. Yes the piece is about 8 years old. But I guess it can be revamped and revised along the way to become relevant to my truth for today.
Resurrection. I named it that. I truly feel I have been resurrected. From the pain that caused the more important parts of me to die.
Jesus did it. God our Father sent him, and since Jesus being the author knows the plans for me, he knew exactly when I would and what I would need to get me back on track after falling off!
Yes. My momma asked me to show her I could do more with my life than drinking and smoking it away.
Maybe I have a gift. Maybe I have a way with words. Maybe my words can change one person. And that one person can impact another person. And maybe like a trail of seeds across a lawn in springtime the good fertile soil will produce bunches of flowers that will be used to make someone’s environment more beautiful than it was.
Glory to God. I was a big mess. I’m not as big a mess. But regardless what you call the Almighty., our Father, Yahweh, YHWH, or Jehovah. Or if you call Jesus or Yeshua. Tomato, tomato. Get what God has to offer you! Let the Holy Spirit lead you in all understanding teaching you. And guiding you.
For the first time in my life I know joy. I know happiness. I’m not just waiting for this life thing to be over with. no desires to go outside as do anything Besides live to die. Drinking until I lose consciousness. Smoking substances that cause me to forget who I am, my purpose and my dreams.
No, now. I live. Abundantly. I go when asked to go out. I converse with friends. I encourage and accept encouragement. And I share my art with other artists.
See life has always been glass half full. I just never had unblinded eyes willing to see that.