2 Corinthians 12:2-5

2 I know a man in Christ who fourteen years ago was caught up to the third heaven. Whether it was in the body or out of the body I do not know—God knows. 3 And I know that this man—whether in the body or apart from the body I do not know, but God knows— 4 was caught up to paradise and heard inexpressible things, things that no one is permitted to tell. 5 I will boast about a man like that, but I will not boast about myself, except about my weaknesses. 

So i see a stat this morning going on about how someone closed a door on a Jehovah’s Witness because of … she said if she couldnt trust their truth on the small things how could she trust their truth on their complex things? 

So yeah umm all my life i was scared of death so I was dying to live. Partying, smoking, drinking, and too many men. Because I never could get with that paradise on earth thing. i didnt want to live on earth forever… so i said imma just live to die so I wont be resurrected to live on the earth.

yeah Talib Kweli said it best, you only scared to die when you aint living right. Absence from the body is present with the Lord, because the bible says my flesh and blood cannot inherit Gods kingdom. Kinda puts s damper on that paradise on earth schemenology.

So. Now I am dying to live. I crucify my flesh and its desires daily. 2.5 years smoke free. rarely partying. like only for special occasions. no drunken days. and abstinence. And i cant boast on me. God did that! If Rae-Rae, my alter ego could be anywhere she would be awakening from a hangover, stepping over a man getting ready to kick him out after a long night of partying, putting that ‘drink’ in my purse just in case i got called in for a drop at work. But God stripped my desires for my old life out of my heart. Its no longer desirable to my palate. Its quite easy. And i mean abstinence is easy if you have no action, but LORD! ALLLLLLLLL these fine men calling me daily! Keeps me running to my Saviors arms asking Jesus to keep me focused and show me how to do Gods will. Because if it aint Gods will I dont want it!!! And He just Keep keeping me. keep delivering me and answering my prayers!!!

negative test results after a year or so of abstinence keeps me reminded that fornication is a sin to my own flesh. Because these diseases that others are being forced to live with are as a result of their choices. And there is no condemnation. I only made it away unscathed because of his unfailing love, grace and mercy. so i remain focused on pleasing God. 

Yes. I am constantly learning because i am tired of being in the dark. Constantly asking the Holy Spirit to direct me and keep me focused. I do not have all the answers because my thoughts nor my ways are like Gods. I do however, believe. Faith is the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen.
I hoped to really learn about God and as He reveals more of himself. He has been showing up and showing out. I mean. Man. I if I could tell the stories. One day. 

I have finally become okay with the names the Jehovahs witnesses will call me for denouncing the faith of my childhood. i was born into darkness and now as God continually pulls sthe wool off my eyes by taking me places in his word, not people, God! not books, the word of God. He opens up my mind to understand him and what better way than by His word! 

so happy mothers day. My present to my mother is doing what she asked me to do on her death bed, and I cant do that until i break free from the lies.
Freedom hass found me so I said I do!

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