Whats with this new thing of women studying the women that the men are loving to see what it is they need to be in order to get and keep his attention?

Don’t you realize that once everything hits the fan and he realizes that she is not the woman she pretended to be that turmoil is going to follow. 

But these imposters stay coming into my relationships.

See my problem is I am a spoiled brat.

Headed to choir rehearsal yesterday, i notice my brakes acting funny. I had to literally press all the way down to get them to stop. 

A woman in dire need. A spoiled brat. Yes. Many men will stop everything in order to help that woman in dire straights. It doesnt matter who is in his home. Who thinks they are in his heart. Whomever he stops everything for is the one that is preferred over all the rest.

In my Mokensteff voice, He’s mine, you may have had him…thats right. The forever side chick breezys know this song. It gets their blood boiling everytime, because no matter what they do and how they do it they will never be number one. They can’t ever be chosen.

So here I am. Trying to figure out why my relationships seem to stay on the rocks. I expect a man like the man that stopped everything to check my car, to stop everything for me.

Thats all I have seen my entire life. 

So thats what I expect in a man.

Maybe unrealistic for this generation. The generation of the woman coddling the man. The generation of the woman doing anything for a man that wont ever commit to them. The generation of the woman making all types of excuses to fall for the nonsense of a man that is supposed to be standing as a man.

Not me. No Lordy. My grandparents have been together over sixty years. I am not talking about in separate homes. I am talking about living together no separations for years. My grandmother hasnt worked for as long as I can remember. My grandfather has been letting my grandmother do what she wants to do for years. And in exchange at seven score plus years she still gets over that hot stove and makes sure he has something warm to coat his stomach at night.

Grandma taught me well. I will be an outstanding woman to the right man. But he has to show and prove first.

So. This month. I’m about life lessons. I am about understanding the world as I come across it. yes. My cars brakes were going out. They will be fixed tomorrow. I’m a spoiled brat, and men seem to enjoy making my life a little bit easier because when I am a sweetheart I love beyond measure.

Like one of my coworkers told me recently, “I just want to take care of you.”

I laughed. Because I am in love, and when i love its sincere. No amount of material things, or words can change that. I am loyal completely. 

So. Sometimes those in love need a hiatus to find out if the love is real, or just imaginary. But no one can love another until they love themselves. and right now I have learned to love every bit of me. Spoiled brat or nah. 

Either the man I love is going to do it or he’s not. The choices we have to make dictates the road in life we choose to take. In that order. 

What a happy revelation. No matter what road we take, either the easy one or the one that takes us in circles. I believe that those who believe God will eventually allow His will to be done. So I stand still, watch God work and wait on His salvation. no one said it would be easy, but as Pastor said the other night in bible study it will definitely be worth it.


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