As I am riding the bus with a coworker something urges me to ask about his relationship status.

Mind you he is handsome but I’ve had my fill of young boys thinking because they carried the family as boys they are a man. 

Emotionally they can’t do anything with a woman like me so they seek to stifle my creativity and change me.

Anyway he says he has a good woman. I say keep her.

I hate when women see a woman interacting with a man and automatically assume she is trying to get that man for herself.

I’m the woman that sends married men home. Allows men who find out they have a baby on the way after just getting involved with me to go and pursue family life with the woman before me. Who allows men to find happiness where they can. 

I love with no conditions. If their lives include me in the equation awesome! If not even better. Because the seeds I sow in the man to get him to be faithful to his woman will come into my life later on for the man that I will spend the rest of my life with.

So I’m talking to a man I dated a couple of years ago. That same urge came upon me to ask him about his new relationship. After he called asking to see me. But I just felt it. I felt his fear in moving forward into the present. So what happens when we fear the future? We go back to the past thinking it holds some of the comfort that will help us. When in actuality all it does in hinders us as we get confused about the person we left behind for a reason and the person we are choosing in our new season.

I tell him though as I find out when he began the relationship that she must be the one. I could remember crying just days before my birthday telling him God put that urge and tug in my spirit for me to let him go. I watched him grow. 

I watched him put down guns and street life. I watched him leave the ghettos of Chicago for the suburbs and a job he can retire from instead of the dead end one he was at. 

I allowed God to use me in his life so of course now I tell him don’t mess this relationship up. Move forward and don’t look back like Lots wife. Don’t get stuck in something that was never supposed to matter.

So to everyone. Who feels nervous about moving into a new life it’s okay. It’s life. Maybe a little fear keeps us humbled so we never get too puffed up with pride. And we all know God can’t move in prideful people. 

I’m moving forward. I’m helping my brothers move forward. Because it won’t ever happen for the black family until the black male stands up and takes on his assigned role as the leader of the family. Women have been trying to carry something that our bodies and minds were never designed and created to do in the first place. That’s why in bible times the closest male relatives would take on the role of husband to a woman because she was never created to be the head of a home. 

So. Sisters let your man lead. Men lead and when you find a good woman keep her.

Because the man who FINDS a wife. Finds a good thing!

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