I once tried to be pro-black.

Then I remembered how Yummy Sandifer a little boy from the west side of Chicago was gunned down execution style and left for dead by the same gang members he called his family.

Whats love got to do with it when you dont love yourself, asked Kendrick Lamar.

I been trying to understand all the activism surrounding white on black crime, when I saw a post that said the kkk has killed less than 4,000 blacks in 87 years, but blacks have killed more than that number in six months.

Like Amari Brown.

Why do I have to worry about my baby being in the ‘hood for any holiday because a black boy who was not raised to understand his worth and value and thinks only in terms of bottom lines and block corners, sees another black life as meaningless.

Why don’t we rally against these block boys?

oh wait. cause some of them our sons, nephews, cousins, uncles, brothers, fathers. Oh wait and we like the money that comes along with that lifestyle. Oh yeah and since we have yet to value our lives its all about the stunt and front.

I get it. I used to love D-boys, and for some reason they seemed to love me to. SO we was loving each other mutually. And i shut my mouth about duffle bags filled with snow white product. 

The perks kept my mouth shut.

I used to be all pro black on black love. 

Until I started driving a bus and my brothers look at me and turn away so they dont have to speak, or ignore my good morning greeting. Until the white man smiled so kindly and complimented the flower in my hair.

Yeah I used to be Angela Davis, Assata Shakur, black panther power to the people chic. Like it was cool to know that blacks were disenfranchised living in nihilistic environments, without the structure of power coming to save a people thats hell bent on destroying themselves. Like it was cool to constantly remind people about slavery, but that strength we built in slavery we waste by complaining and expecting people to give us perks that we feel are long overdue. Like its cool to not be american and not celebrate the fourth because blacks werent free back then. But we can choose freedom now. Why folk can’t stop looking at the past and can’t look forward? I mean if you hate america so much, why not go to another country. Let us enjoy our perceived liberty in peace without your negativity.

I used to pro black, is all Im saying.

but that would have had to mean I was anti other races.

Then I came to a realization of lightbulb like proportions.

Black people don’t always like black people.

We call each other more niggas than the other races. We tear each other down, and run each other into the ground thinking if we sell out our brother or sister we get the elevation. Look no one is getting the elevation because if you cant be trusted with ‘your brothers keeping’ howw can you have enough integrity to be loyal to the company in question?

See that divide and conquer tactic was never put aside for black people. The mandingo ruining the women to make strong babies never left our families. Which means black men dont know how to sit down even when they settle down. I think thats why so many running to religions where having more than one wife is acceptable. In that way they can have as many ‘wives’ as their heart desire. 

Thats not a diss. I just personally studied the many different religions searching for truth at one time in my life. I never felt a peace in my spirit until I accepted Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior. And the word of God speaks of one husband and one wife. But thats neither here or there. Black men have a hard time sitting and settling down.

i mean let a black person open a gas station, or a grocery store, or a boutique. Everyone who been sitting on their behind getting over on the system still going to the non blacks because who do a brother or sister think they are for showing the world its possible for one of us to get out and away from the system. 

We teach our children to value things and not people. We teach our children that intelligence is unecessary, because we spend more time evaluating housewives, and fictional empires than we do reading books, or a blog for that matter. 

We so busy trying to keep up with the jones and buying gucci shoes and jordans that the many jobs that have to be had in order to barely afford these luxeries from people already rich keeps us from living life, because we so busy working to maintain. Working to get by. Working to keep up the pretense.

I have learned that I have brothers and sisters. They are not always black or brown faces. But we share one faith. One God our Father, One Son of God, and One Spirit of God. All three carry the same power. All were here in the beginning when they said, “let US make man in our image.” Power. We were made for power and dominion, to rule.  The angels are not made in Gods image. The enemy has no power.Thats why he and his demons, once angels,  need humans because we have the power of life in our tongues, thats why the enemy needs bodies to speak our own personal deaths into existence with all that negative talk. 

So I used to be pro-black. Until white people treat me with more dignity and respect than my own people. I love my people. I love other races. I love all people. Thats what I was commanded by Jesus to do. Love God with my whole heart. He created all creations. Then to love my neighbor as myself. My neighbor wont always look like me. But the freedom in love. The freedom in accepting love.

I used to think I wanted to make music for blacks to listen to. They probably just going to bootleg it anyway, and tell everyone how I can’t sing anyway. Or even better. They will probably just tell me I am my own worst enemy and not give me any useful information on how to get over my enemy like state of self-destruction. Again. 

See many in my culture don’t value the treasure that words bring, they looking for voices that run rifts like crazy but talking about the wildest things. 

I come to be light. I come to use the power I have been given to encourage and uplift my neighbor similar to what the Samaritan did to the one on the side of the road.

So I can’t be pro-black. I can be pro-disenfranchised people. People who suffer because a system chooses to marginalize those who dont have enough money to make a powerful difference. 

Its a struggle and a battle, but trust. Its not so much a race thing as it is a class and status thing. Money. The love of which is the root of all evil, and if you not paying to play you are the one who have no rights and authority.

So stop getting mad at the white man. Get mad at yourself. For drinking too much. For partying too much. For buying too many things for class and symbols of status. For not making the foundation one of monogamy and missing out on the blessing of Gods convenant, which he gives when one keeps his laws and stays away from sexual sins and adultery.

yep. These days its about accountability. I love my people. I want us all to be free. But I’m sorry I am not sorry I can never be pro-black, and anti anyone else. Its not fair to the brothers and sisters in the faith Christ may have given me that look nothing like me.

Peace, love and blessings!


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