It was rainy, quite like today.

my husbnd had been wrapped in my arms and I in his, and his soccer team was waiting on him.

He didnt want to go. I didnt want him to. SO he didnt.

You know. that difference between a woman that makes  man want to run to work because of… and that woman that makes that man feel comfortable in the castle. Yeah. ANyway.

We stayed cuddled in newlywed bliss.

Before the fall. Before the freedom. Before taking his time off and away from me.

Ive been reading Proverbs. 7:19,20 talks about the woman telling her new lover that her husband is away. SO she can be intimate with someone else.

I learned a valuable lesson that year. Never let anyone come in the middle of what your value and treasure. It is important to keep balance in all things, and go for what you have a right to claim.

When I was angry with my husband, I was supposed to talk to him not to the next man about him.

When he came to me crying I was not supposed to harden my heart saying he needed to pay for all he put me through.

I never seem to learn my lesson.

They cry and I be feeling myself like, another one. Made me cry now he crying over me. Because once I shut off, I’m shut off for good. There is no lets straighten it out. Its more like Brian McKnight, One last cry. Because I leave them all behind.

Anyway. Back to Proverbs.

This chapter in particular is about avoiding the smooth talk of those that want to talk you out of the covenant that was made with your mate.

How do we allow rifts to come in between what God ordained and placed together? How do we allow what God put in order to become disheveled and a mess?

Pride.

Simply put. We don’t allow our emotions to come across honestly and we allow building blocks be erected that fence each other out. 

I lost my husbnd the following year. Not of his chooosing. He begged for me to choose to stay. I was hardhearted and indifferent. He chose what he chose. he said what he wanted, thats the way it was supposed to be right?

gave him back his mothers ring and as the judge looked at us questioningly, asking if we were sure, I couldnt even look him in the face as I adamantly confirmed the choice that would send my life downhill, as I struggle to pick up the sordid pieces today seven years later.

I dont talk about life the way I do because I’m a confidant know it all. I’ve lived. I’ve made many poor decisions, and its in these poor decisions that I realize the lessons that were meant for me to learn. 

There are no value in things. Not really. You wont lie on your death bed holding the keys to your Bentley thinking of all the fun rides yall had together. No hopefully you’ll have made enough of an impact on the lives of people that they will lie next to you holding your hand reminding you of who you were to them. 

see the value is in our relationships. The impacts we make on the world. The value is in the smiles we put on the faces of the people we love dearly. The experiences we share. The back down memory lanes we get to have. Those, “you remember when” moments.

The treasure in life will never be things. You trying to keep up with the joneses and their things, and they wishing they could laugh and smile because everybody dies but not everybody lives.’

So enjoy life. Find value in the ones that spend time to make you smile, and laugh. and anyone who is constantly nagging bout we need more, don’t love you in the first place. They love what you do for them and how they can brag about you to make themselves seem more importnt than they will ever be.

I would rather live with love and appreciation than with things, and loneliness.

So I guess I’ve learned  lesson. Pride comes before the fall, but God needed to shape me and make me humble.

memories make real treasuries, because dollars make paper planes that seem to fly away just as fast as we get them.

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