Day 10

I met some people today.

One stopped her car in the middle of the street to offer my daughter and I a ride in torrential rain! I told her I was soaked and I was going to wet her seats. She waved her hand in nonchalance and told me she had three kids and opened her car door for me.

She was not black. 

I am.

I asked someone for a ride recently. She made excuses. I understood. She happens to be brown like me.

Everyone that looks like you ain’t your friend. And everyone that doesn’t, ain’t your enemy.

I started crying today.

I miss my daddy. Because none of the hell I been through would have happened if my daddy, who they called Moses, stick carrying and beating folks up on the regular, had been alive.

He’d probably just been cleared of charges against the man who wrapped his hands around my pregnant neck.

Anyway. 

I’m crying.

Emotional really.

And someone gave me a tissue.

She didn’t look like me.

There were some who did who had nothing to say.

And then I remembered. 

Everyone who look like me ain’t my friend. And everyone who doesn’t isn’t my enemy.

And then I read an article.

And it gave me good gems.

“No more chasing love. Love and happiness should never be chased. True love is like a firefly and magnetized to the light. All you need to do is glow.”

~Alex Myleson

You are a work of art. All art work is a process. It’s about progression not perfection. (Paraphrased) ~ Alex Myleson

So.

As I chat with someone who loves me. My friends reminders in the mornings that I am awesome. I am reminded I am blessed!

I have what I need in order to get through. I gotta go through to get through. I’m about to love my process!

Yes. Happiness. Is loving those willing to lay aside guards. Loving those people that want to love back. 

And I’m loving this feeling.

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