If my opinions came from a man I believe they would be acceptable. 

Many men. Many many many many men. Wish I wouldn’t think.

I think too much. But then months later when they come back talking about, yeah like you said it was going to happen, they can’t do anything but humble themselves.

It never was me. God works through me. I am a willing vessel because I am not afraid of what others will think, sometimes unfortunately.

So I speak.

I read something recently that spoke of conviction and condemnation. 

The body of Christ should be more like Paul. He corrected but in love. Those letters just laid the facts out. If they applied. Great. If not keep it moving. 

So here I am.

Finally coming to a realization that I’m not ready to date anyone and thats alright. We can hang out. Get some tea and chat. But dinner and dancing is not for me. Nt right now anyway.

I have found joy in motherhood, and a strength in being a single one. So if my baby can’t come I don’t want to kick it.

And if you don’t have a child for her to interact with I don’t want to answer her questions about the new daddy, which I am no longer concerned about coming.

See. Relationships are like shoes. And marriage is about finding the right fit.

I choose my shoes based on where I am going, what I am wearing, the color or whatever.  

Today however, my shoes don’t match anything I have on. But they fit well and are comfortable. They allow my feet to breathe. But most importantly I can wear them and walk many miles, and still feel the comfort. Because they are comfortable they help me correct my posture because I can’t worry about feet hurting and walking with my spine straight. I don’t care if my shoulder blades touch when my arches feel like yet have fallen.

See them pretty heels I love to wear won’t let me go the distance.

Or the flat shoes that match this outfit make my feet hurt if I try to go too many miles.

Some people choose people based on the aesthetic alone. But when trials and tribulations come they only see the face. Or the body. I ignore men who are only interested in me based on my appearance. Because as soon as I say something real. And he don’t want to hear that, coming from a woman, I’m going to be placed on the back burner because I’m not a good fit.

If you don’t want someone who will allow you to feel comfortable and gently correct the thing that may be hindering you from becoming great, find some flat footed shoe like person who is only there to fluff all your stuff and nonsense. 

Flattery is pretentious. I always wonder what your real motive. Because if you are not interested in me will you still flatter me?

Let’s find out. And the testing begins.

No this is not about submission. I submit. Quite well. But I have only been told by the bible to submit to my husband and I keep thinking in supposed to submit to someone who hasn’t even laid out a sacrifice for me.

Like flowers, or shiny things. I’ve been ‘wifey’ enough to know all the stops a man pulls out when he is interested in pursuing something real.

I don’t try to kill chivalry because I know it’s not dead. Maybe it’s just lacking in a culture that neve really knew how to embrace their own. So they put on machoism as a front. 

I don’t do what I won’t accept though.

Because I expect the same. Push me to greatness and in my best state of self I shall do the same.

I’ve decided. Since doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is insanity. I better stop with the madness.


I’m chilling right now. For the first time in my life I look at my phone and let it go to voice mail. I just want to be focused on me. And my little person. I want her to reach her potential. I want to reach mine. 

I’m sure it would be easier with someone else. But if we aren’t a good fit, then my journey would wind up hurting me in the long run anyway.
I’m thankful to God my Father, for having Jesus. He constantly helps me crucify my flesh. So I don’t hurry up and get some shoes because I’m tired of being barefoot I can try them on, one foot at a time. Not jumping in feet first wasting my time.

No thank you to dinner or lunch these days. You can’t eat with everybody.

I need friends. That are okay with being friends until God shows them otherwise. Like the beautiful Jackie Hill-Perry and Preston Perry!

But most definitely we can sip some tea. Discuss life to see how good of a fit we can actually be.


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