Handy dandy Andy!

day 39

I saw Andy Mineo today!

I won’t do heart eyes, because my love for the art may be misconstrued for love of him.

And his wife was on tour with him.

He did a whole song with a video of their wedding to end the show!

He gave his testimony, and glory to God about how Jesus came to save him.

I thought once I walked with Jesus I had to leave hip-hop behind.

Hip-hop had been my love for a very long time. I was getting antsy. I love the adrenaline rush of a good hip-hop concert.

I can’t help but be me the peculiar person God created me to be.

My Jesus. he loves you just as you are. 

He always hooking me up with concerts and good views. He knows I love music!

I hope you enjoy the view God gave me.

   
     

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The winners circle

it seems as if the life i’ve lead in my day will have had twists and turns so that…

I could learn how to lean on no one but God.

Every left turn I made I chose.

The bible says that God always makes a way of escape. Like Joseph had with potiphers wife. We are always given an opportunity to run.

For instance. I chose to become a Jehovahs Witness as a child. My mother was like are you sure? I felt like it was what I was supposed to do. Get baptized. Be accepted. So I did. I never bothered to check the facts about Jesus, and Michael.

God gives me free will.

I chose each and every relationship that led me down pathways of self destruction.

It seems as if when being deceieved has been familiar to your spirit, it becomes easier and easier to believe lies. If you never question lies, when will you find the truth?

It seems in my opinion the way you do one thing is the way you do everything. 

Before I experienced violence the first time, my mother had already told me to avoid the person whose house it happened at. 

And by the time it happened with the second person, I’ll never forget.

I was so caught up and entangled with the person that I left my white clothes in the laundry room of my building. All the clothes came up missing. My nice designer Egyptian cotton sheets, and expensive, for frugal me, shirts were gone. 

I remember thinking that was a sign. I was going to lose some valuable things in my interactions with the guy.

Obedience is better than sacrifice. God gives us warning before destruction and hard headed me, wanted to rebel and never listen.

I had it. I could do it, my way.

It’s easier to believe someone who has done all the research and studying instead of doing it on my own.

So don’t cry for me Argentina! 

I never feel sorry for myself because I chose my life.

I tell the stories just in case I am not alone, and someone else made choices they aren’t too proud of, but too proud to tell another soul. 

Sometimes it’s enriching to find out that someone else took steps to freedom. 

I mean if all my friends are in abusive relationships and they think, all guys are supposed to cheat and fight, then I would be crazy to think I should stand up for standards no one around me has. Until someone steps out. And speaks up, and decides to choose life. To choose love. To choose God.

My mother was the best mother she knew how to be.

She loved kids.

Being taught lies doesn’t make a person a bad person. It means that they are so hungry to find a good fit with God that they are willing to trust someone they believe is trustworthy. It sounds good. Like legal documents. Until you read the fine print.

I have been afraid to call out the religion I grew up in. They call those people apostates. And now. Now the people I grew up knowing as family, and loving more than the family I was kept away from really won’t talk to me. 

But I chose this life. Or maybe God let me choose it because He knew that some of His called and chosen ones would wind up being sent into that religion as children, raised only knowing that and would one day seek freedom. 

I need an ex Jehovahs Witness support group.

I sat in front of another ex Jehovahs Witness at my church home one day and I saw the pain on her face as she recalled some memories. 

This too shall pass. Somewhere, out there over the rainbow. Representing Gods promise and hope. Someone is questioning. Someone is seeking and will find. God is making a way of escape for them.

So run. Don’t look back like Lots wife. 

Run the race so as to win the prize. The prize of life. Look. Search. Find out where everlasting life is going to happen. Paul looked to the third heaven and saw a man in paradise. God the Father told God the Son, your throne O, God will endure forever. And God never said to any angel what he said to Jesus. Sorry. Michael. Is not Jesus. I’m sure he wants everyone to know that he worships Jesus like all the rest of us should according to Hebrews 1:6.

Please forgive my broken record sounds. But for years. YEARS. I wanted change. I wanted to serve God. And I would call out to the father. Jehovah. Help me. But he told me to get to Him I had to go through the Son. Not Michael. Who they’ve depicted as Jesus.

The bible warns us to beware of those teaching a different Jesus. 

So. My race runners. Running to attain the prize. Those who are #winning. Three fingers up. For the W’s. Seek truth. Knock and the door will be opened. To you! 

It has been for me. I will continue to be praying for those seeking truth!

Shut your Big Mouth

so many times as I am writing have I wanted to scream that to myself.

They’ll see you as weak, I said.

They’ll talk about you, I said.

They will remind you of your ugly, dirty past, I said.

They’ll hear your story third party for the ones who won’t read who get the story relayed from another, and change it, I said.

That was really my enemy. God’s enemy. The father of lies, who doesn’t want anyone to know the truth.

But they. They didn’t comfort me when I was mourning. They weren’t with me when I walked away from everything I knew. They weren’t soft reminders in the middle of the night that this is only a season, and tests. They didn’t provide for me when I gave up my things and was like I am going to trust you God. And boy did He provide. Sending me to Plato’s Closet grab bag sells. He taught me how to stuff 21 items into a easy to tear little bag for ten bucks to get a new wardrobe. They were not that gentle voice whispering to me to go to this particular place where God allows those to hand out food, feeding us when we are hungry and they just so happen to have chocolate syrup for my daughters chocolate milk phase, and tissue.

Necessities.

They were not my God.

For His Glory! 

I won’t ever be perfect in This body. Just a woman, learning how to abandon childish ways. Relearning how to walk, talk, live and be. To bring God glory.

Once God revealed Himself to me. Once He showed me the TRUTH about Jesus. once I read scriptures for myself. It became about him. Dying daily to my own selfish desires. To give Him what He created me for.

I lost something today. I lost the proof that I even bought it. I went back and tried to find the piece of paper that fell out of my hand. And the thing I lost. I couldn’t find the thing. I couldn’t find the receipt, and I realized sometimes things get left behind. They served their purpose. And sometimes it’s okay to leave it behind because something else is waiting for me.

Plenty more where that came from.

Faithful. God is faithful. I may struggle with my lifestyle of loyalty. But He never will.

I am relearning how to blog. 

I read a book about it.

Forgive my long verbose rants. They were for my healing. From the lies, I had been told all my life, that had me suspiciously looking at everyone upside their heads not knowing whom I could trust.

So to my new followers, thank you for taking the time out your day for the extra long posts, and my old followers… Y’all the real MVPs. 

I pray God continues to bless you all in ways that only He knows the plans. 

He will. 

Sometimes it’s okay to start over. You didn’t lose from the past thing you believe you are losing. You gained a wealth of knowledge and experience that no one can ever take away from you.

It’s all for love. Love of God teaches you love of self, and only then can you love your neighbor as yourself!

I can’t ever redo who I used to be. But I can continue to pray to the Father in Jesus name to create in me a clean heart and renew the right spirit in me. Because really at the end of the day, He is the only one equipped to do it, seeing as He created me!

Hebrews 1. 

Find your healing. Seek your truth. You’d be surprised just how beautiful the world can really be!

  

Who do you believe in?

So I am a writer. Whatever one thinks of my style, it will get better over time. But i love writing. Sometimes it seems as if God moves my hands to write the songs or poems and definitely the stories. I know. Some words I don’t even know. Then I look it up and it matches the story line. I know that can only be God!

I will write poems, songs, short stories, novels. Words make up my world. Because it is only in words that one can grow and escape the mundane. The truth is found in words. And love can be shared through them.

I hate wondering how a person feels about me.

Communicate.

Words have power.

Anyway i wrote this song. About my new life.

wanna hear it? Here it go… But I don’t sing in front of people, yet, like that though. *smile*

Cried tears i couldn’t cope/exchanged bags for laughs, blue dro/ took pills thought it was rope/ ran off and i eloped/ kept secrets deep inside/from myself i did hide/ The Spirit I tried/ Tried to fight and Him denied/ But He, He showed me what I asked/ opened me, saved me from my past/ i was lost and left instead/ the family i thought i could depend on was dead/ now leaning on new understanding/ and he gave me hope/ freed me from dope/ told me no smoke/ and He loved me/ and he loved me/ Freed me/ gave me/ New Life, New Life, New Life

Hook

When you think its over/ you better think again/ when you think it is through/ check what’s within/ is it registering/ is it all knowing/ is it posturing/ just a feeling/ or a prescription/ for better living/ who do you believe in?/ who do you believe in?

Verse one is enough to bring tears to my eyes now just knowing what God brought me from. Simple words cannot erase the complexity of a life I once lived. Words better left for ‘fictional’ novels, as opposed to a blog. But the memories replay in my mind like television clips. But the hook brings the hope of it all.

I didn’t know church. But i knew God the Father, a misinterpretation of the Son, and was left hanging in the wind thinking the Holy Spirit was a force like the wind. He had been depersonified and I couldn’t get any answers about who He was. Really.

He is the guiding force for my life here on earth. I know this now. Because i follow that urge and my steps are being ordered as The Spirit is told what to tell me through Jesus, and Jesus knows from the Father. And I am led away from the things that will hurt me and led towards the things that help me grow and make me better.

I slip. and fall short daily. and thats where the Holy Spirit comes in to comfort me.

I digress.

He didn’t just fall in my lap. Jesus never went after the pharisees who thought they knew all the answers. He was followed, sometimes chased by those who were in desperate need of change in their lives.

That was me.

I had to ask, relentlessly. I spent some months letting go of everything I thought I knew, once i realized my last interaction was a bit shady with the ‘brothers’. Disfellowshipping me via phone conversation, without a meeting, without three brothers to make it an unbiased decision, without prayer, without asking me had i changed my life around. I mean I had long since stopped doing what they claimed they were disfellowshipping me for in the first place.

But this isnt a bitter rant against a group of people who seem to genuinely love God and want to please Him.

This is a thank God He freed me up to find the real truth. Not mans version of it.

See I learned a lot in my childhood. Being the baby that was cradled in the arms of many in my congregation I was always loved. People still had trouble not calling me Rae-Rae, seeing me, just a few years ago, because in their minds I would always be sweet little Rae-Rae, who got caught up and entrapped in the webs of deceitful people. People who pretended to be Jehovah’s Witnesses by day, and doing everything under the sun by night.

I learned to have a conscious. Convicted. I was the one to tell. We were doing so and so. Now let our names be called out to the rest of the congregations so we can be publicly shamed and humilated for sinning. If these are the rules, I am following them.

I always had a thing for Jesus. Every memorial I would be the one boohooing visualizing his journey by the words presented in the bible.

But He was only a God, their bible teaches. But I learned Greek as a child. Their is no definitive article that means ‘a’ in Greek. Like Spanish its La, El, Las, Los. Or French its Un or Une. Greek has no such thing. The writers of that religions bible added it.

They forgot to read Hebrews 1, where God the Father told God the Son His throne would rule forever.

That’s when I began to find truth.

But this isn’t about my truth. I wanted it. I no longer had anyone’s standards to live up to. My mothers family member who was in the religion encouraged me to take flight, against my will. My mother was dead. Who was I living for?

I had to find my own way.

All I know is. I am thankful for what i was taught as a child. I was taught a love of God and His word. So when I coupled that with becoming a research assistant, and getting into all the programs that paid stipends for doing research when I got to a four year university, love of God and His word plus research equals my finding my own truth, that has led me to a new life.

this new life has me admiring the beauty of men but not desiring them for the pleasure of my body. This new life has me no longer smoking,  anything. This new life has me seeking peace, when the friends that remember me from the past remember me being a firecracker. Ready to set off.

But God!

I now can be thankful for them giving me the word of God as a gift. So i would know God, and know how to see Him in dealing with people, and have the courage to say, this isn’t God. It doesn’t follow or line up with the God i have read about in his word.

besides the scripture they use to dis fellowship with says not even eat with a man, when did love stop us from greeting another person?

So today. I care about miracles materializing, but God in my life is a miracle for me! I know God performed one when He opened my eyes, and gave me the strength to stop living the life that was leading me nowhere fast. I don’t even care about people enough to go chasing behind people who don’t want to be in my life. I know God got me!

So seek and you shall find. Knock and the door shall be opened. With a humble heart seek God’s face, for understanding and not just His hand for material things. you’d be amazed at all the treasures He is capable of unlocking inside of you!

Finding our place

Day 34

I used to be in a rush all the time. 

Today I slowed down.

I took my daughter for a mother daughter outing.

   
    
   
Finished the night with a new fresh hair do for my little miss. I fell in love again with her today. With all the obstacles life has given us it has been difficult to focus on her well being. So it’s not a desire to give attention to someone who is taking her time away from her and not doing anything to upbuild me and make her time with me better.

I refuse to do stress. I refuse to do disloyal. I want to show my daughter how to choose healthy relationships.

My mother may not have done all that I wanted her to but she taught me healthy relationships. She taught me girl night sleep overs for her adult friends in her thirties. They would pop popcorn, watch movies like Gremlins, Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, and laugh late into the night. I never heard her talking bad about her friends. And her friend who was constantly running from and going back to a DV situation, she was shelter from the storm. Often letting God use her and our one bedroom apartment to bring four other people in.

And the man my mother finally chose courted her for a good year before she even advanced further. 

That same man was asking my mother to use my money for the first year of their marriage. He was only making $6.25 an hour. But the year she died he was making $70,000 a year.

My mother taught me how to encourage and upbuild. How not to accept the unacceptable. And how to love my sister friends. 

To learn your strengths. To know who you are is a blessing. I know who I am because I know who raised me. I know my mother had to be hard on me knowing what was in my bloodline on the other side. 

Addictions are hard to break once they start.

So today. I celebrate motherhood. Finding my place in it. So many of my childhood friends are looking for colleges for their children and here I am just getting started. Twiddling my thumbs wishing for a mother or a father so i can go out sometimes. But God saw fit. To give me what I need when I need it most.

So I am learning how to be content with what I have. No complaints. Be thankful for all that I have. And know that God is being praised in my thanksgivings.

If I continue to let my petitions be known to him. With thanksgiving. He is faithful.

So.

Love as always. And live out loud!

Pi. Π. Mc2. Still figuring it out!

I keep on watching The Life of Pi.

I used to think I missed out on the world. Because I grew up in a hidden religion. And because I left traditional school after the first semester of 9th grade.

No. I just got the chance to be schooled by life by the people God allowed to come into my life.

Much like Pi, I spent almost my young adulthood looking for God. I gave up for a minute after He didn’t heal my mother. Thank God he allowed a seed to be implanted in my belly. She gave me new life and new hope and a new search for Him!

Anyway after I left the religion in my youth, I was constantly looking for the love I knew God had for me that I couldn’t feel. 

I knew God couldn’t be as cruel as the people in the religion were to misquote a scripture that had them not even speaking when the bible says don’t associate. As in keep close company.

It’s alright. They keep changing their minds. Almost like they keep changing dates on the worlds ending. But we know the bible says all it takes is for a prophet to be wrong once to be false.

So I met a Muslim man. Fell in love but could not get past my personal belief that Jesus was not merely a prophet. I felt too deeply Everytime I read about his death to believe that him being a prophet would touch me that deeply. He had to be my creator I reasoned with my guy.

Besides. I didn’t want to wear hijab. 

Vain then. But I cover my head now just when I want intimate time with God. In prayer while I am out and about, and I know people tend to stare at me curiously. Sometimes.

Then. I moved out of my mothers home. After some coercing. And met a Buddhist lady. The chants never made me feel at ease.

Besides with all these religions I couldn’t stop doing me in the form of sexual impurity or stop smoking.

But here years later. With a relationship with God, if I do wrong I am immediately convicted. I love Him so much.

It’s like a relationship with anyone. 

When my daughter asked me not to lick my tongue out at her even though I’m just playing. She don’t like it so now I make a conscious effort to not do what she doesn’t like.

That can only come with a personal relationship. One where I have seen Him work in my life. He’s been courting me all my life. That’s how I know what to expect from anyone else that comes along.

If you want me, you’ll pursue me like God did. And mean it. That’s the only way a man can love a woman as Christ loves the church. 

He is unrelentless in his pursuit of loving us.

So. Because He loves me I try to do whatever He asks me. And work toward being better daily.

It’s not easy. I wish it were. Then we wouldn’t have to work for social justice, or cry about why the media is not showcasing the fact that almost a million black people and supporters are in Washington DC. People and their hearts can only be changed by coming to Jesus. I am a believer. 

IF you ask me what my religion is I will tell you I am a believer. A believer that God is a Father. He has a Son my savior. And the spirit of my Savior is the Holy Spirit. 

Besides the only religion that is acceptable to God our Father is the one where we take care of orphans and widows. So if you are not taking care of those who have been left behind and need help, no judgement. God has plenty of that waiting for you.

Without this three in one package deal I’d be rolling my B right now, backwoods please they burn longer. With a fifth of light liquor. I don’t like dark. Somewhere turning up on a Saturday and my daughter sitting with grandma looking at me like why, mama, why?

But I’ve chosen to accept the love of God. It makes me happy.

Starting this next level in my stage of happiness I pray I will walk in more obedience.

I pray the same for you.

Pressed. Like wine. The pressure

Day 34

i almost walked away from a blessing.

For the desire for comfort. 

But when I stayed and God honored my obedience, I was given a comfortable space.

That’s a revelation for my life. It may not have to be the best, but better than it is. And only God knows what he has in store for the long run.

Patience.

I have learned a few lessons today. Lessons about respect, about rejection, and about rejoicing.

And love.

I’ve learned something new about the gospel of my savior. The Gospel of Christ. I appreciate when I ask and my questions get answered. I don’t have the answers. God does. And he uses His faithful servants to explain, sometimes.

My body is healing from pain which is a blessing because my heart has been healing.

What a joy for happy days!

Happy People 

This morning I watched an encounter with a mom and daughter.

The daughter was bubbly and talking to her mom excitedly.

The mom was scowling visibly, so she immediately hushed the child and began to redirect her attention to a game on the phone.

Overheard.

Famous television star seems phony and fake.

Do you know how persuasive women are?

Like in the bible it was Eve who convinced Adam to eat the fruit. Delilah who talked Samson out of his trade secrets. Rahab even convinced the men who knocked at her door that she wasn’t hiding the Israelite spies.

Women have powerful influence over good and bad.

So a whole group of women talking about another woman could be pretty convincing for those who are working to have strength in character. Those people who are proactive in getting to know to form their own opinion. Or those who just want to be neutral. 

That’s not the norm.

So I did my own research. Watched a couple of clips. She just so happens to be sexy, beautiful, funny, and confident and perkily happy.

Did I mention she is stunningly gorgeous?

Why do women seem to find fault with pretty women? What have they done so bad to that woman personally? Why is their happy nature considered to be phony? Sometimes our experiences in life even the bad ones are based on our outlook on the world. Maybe she sees the world with an eye of beauty. 

A glass half full kinda girl.

I watched her the night the women talked about her seeing her beauty. And then the next day on my own with no opinions around and she seemed even more personable. 

This selfie society.

This society of self.

Everyone wants to outshine everyone else. And if there is a way in which another can’t possibly outshine you that person becomes a problem. Or an enemy. An enemy to the facts that one doesn’t like themselves enough to find the beauty in others without comparing it to themselves.

The hiding face makeup society.

Everybody wants to be a housewife society, but don’t nobody want to give up the whorish mindset to be one.

The I gotta take what’s yours society instead of finding my own. Because if you’re pretty and I get something that belongs to you then I must be pretty by default society.

It’s that. It could have been me syndrome everywhere. When something bad happens to people they seek attention on the it could have been me clause. 

So when they see something that they want to be. Then obviously it couldn’t be them and it seems to be a reason to dislike. 

When people take constant selfies do they really want people to see them? Or validate them. 

If you haven’t gotten a new hairstyle then I still remember you are just as lovely as the last picture!

All I know. Is nothing. What ever God sees fit to make known to me. So I don’t know why women treat some women the way they do. I watched it happening to my mother her whole life.

So.

The next time someone comes up to me with a negative comment about another woman I am going to look at the woman in front of me. Then recall the woman they are speaking negatively against. And then say oh.

Maybe it’s a correlation. Just maybe. But whatever it is. It’s not for me to indulge in. Anymore. 

If you talking to me about someone, that’s not love. So go tell her.

The world had made a coward out of us hiding behind computer screens and sneak dissing with sideways facebook and Instagram posts. We are a generation of 50 cents without the courage to say the person we are talking about name.

So. Love. Love of others start with self. And we really see the world as we see ourselves.

So that’s why I keep looking for those who have a positive happy outlook on life. 

They make the world go round. The right way.

On tigers and whatnot

Day 33

I watched  The Life of Pi today.

I used to think I missed out on the world. Because I grew up in a hidden religion. And because I left traditional school after the first semester of 9th grade.

No. I just got the chance to be schooled by life,  by the people God allowed to come into my life.

Much like Pi, I spent almost my young adulthood looking for God. I gave up after He didn’t heal my mother. Just for a season of realizing how ugly life could be without him. Maybe I’ll share that one day but for now. 

After I left the religion I was constantly looking for the love I knew God had for me that I didn’t feel after being kicked out at 18. See my own mother was not even allowed to have many interactions with me. Her sister would call the house phone and not even greet me just ask to speak to her. 

I knew God couldn’t be so cruel.

So I met a Muslim man. Fell in love but could not get past my personal belief that Jesus was not merely a prophet. I felt too deeply Everytime I read about his death to believe that him being a prophet would touch me that deeply. He had to be my creator I reasoned with my guy.

Besides. I didn’t want to wear hijab. 

Vain then. But I cover my head now just when I want intimate time with God. In prayer while I am out and about, and I know people tend to stare at me curiously. Sometimes.

Then. I moved out of my mothers home. After some coercing. And met a Buddhist lady. The chants never made me feel at ease.

Besides with all these religions I couldn’t stop doing me in the form of sexual impurity or stop smoking.

But here years later. With a relationship with God, if I do wrong I am immediately convicted. I love Him so much.

It’s like a relationship with anyone. 

When my daughter asked me not to lick my tongue out at her even though I’m just playing. She doesn’t like it so now I make a conscious effort to not do what she doesn’t like.

You tend to want to please the one you love!

That can only come with a personal relationship. One where I have seen Him work in my life. He’s been courting me all my life. That’s how I know what to expect from anyone else that comes along.

If you want me, you’ll pursue me like God did. And mean it. That’s the only way a man can love a woman as Christ loves the church. 

He is unrelentless in his pursuit of loving us.

So. Because He loves me I try to do whatever He asks me. And work toward being better daily.

It’s not easy. I wish it were. Then we wouldn’t have to work for social justice, or cry about why the media is not showcasing the fact that almost a million black people and supporters are in Washington DC. People and their hearts can only be changed by coming to Jesus. I am a believer. 

IF you ask me what my religion is I will tell you I am a believer. A believer that God is Father. He has a Son my savior. And the spirit of my Savior is the Holy Spirit. 

Besides the only religion that is acceptable to God our Father is the one where we take care of orphans and widows. So if you are not taking care of those who have been left behind and need help, no judgement. God has plenty of that waiting for you.

Without this three in one package deal I’d be rolling my B right now, backwoods please they burn longer. With a fifth of light liquor. I don’t like dark. Somewhere getting ready to turn up saying good night to my daughter with her and grandma looking at me like why, mama, why?

But I’ve chosen to accept the love of God. It makes me happy.

See I’ve come to realize just like Pi did that some people will bring the worst out in you. You become a monster to fight with the ones hiding under your bed, that wind up in your bed from time to time.

But now. I don’t have to be the monster when God is fighting all my battles. 

So I stay close.

Starting this next level in my stage of happiness I pray I will walk in more obedience.

I pray the same for you.

No fear

I used to wonder how did I get into an abusive relationship.

He knew I didn’t want to be alone. And he knew I was afraid of mice.

And you know how old buildings sometimes can be. Their idea of exterminating was setting down oversized sticky traps. Of which I couldn’t handle the squeaking. 

Guess who was of mice and men?

These days though.

I can set my own trap. 

Last winter grandma held the mouse down with the broom while I beat him with a bottle.

Sorry.

Cruelty to animals I know.

But I can’t share my space with them, because they are downright disrespectful.

Rattling paper. Eating my food. Running inside walls.

I’m trying to sleep for goodness sake.

These days. All my weaknesses have to be taken care of. I will not allow fear to get me to invite someone into my life that I know will not be a good fit even as a friend. 

Fear of being broke? Here comes the CTA bus driver trying to shoot his shot after my friendly joking nature asked if I could bring A shopping cart on the bus. No, you can’t be my sugar daddy. Yes, I see your wedding ring. 

These old school money makers seem to like meat on bones? Or is it for cuffing/cuddling season? Confident strides with thick thighs these days are for the glory of God. To go where He sends me. To show love to whom he wants me to love.

So no, thank you. No banking with you. God is still my provider these six weeks off without pay, treating this sciatic nerve.

Fear of being alone? Well yes. Every guy and his brother is going to come along and tell you everything you thought you wanted to hear.

That’s why I offend. And ignore. If you for real, you will persist. And forgive. Because any relationship for an extended period of time is bound to have disagreements. If you are willing to walk away now, thanks for the two weeks notice. Like jobs with revolving doors, someone will be to fit your shoes sooner than later. And later, if not sooner.

Nope. God said He would never leave me nor forsake me! How can I be lonely and believe God too? Isn’t He good enough. His company shows me how to enjoy myself. How to find myself. How to enjoy myself before meeting someone else. 

So I won’t be that one who never has any fresh ideas about something fun to do.

I’m a Spring, Early April, baby. I have this fresh, youth filled outlook on life. As an adult, I still love to be silly and have fun!

Fear of the unknown. People be so worried that they will never find. Or that everyone else is. That they don’t trust that when God is done  preparing:  He will present.

Like I told the man in the furniture store today. I can’t understand why people choose the first thing they come to. Shop. Without using your body to do so. Use your mind. Let it sit and marinate and find the best fit. For you. Everyone else might not like it because it’s not for them. 

But you’ve never been like the people pleasing crowd.

Who changed you? Who did you give permission to rearrange you? I thought God was getting ready to prepare you for such a time as..

Yeah. Patience my dear caterpillar. Be wise. Because there is always a bird looking for prey. And sometimes when we forget to pray to God our Father about His will; we end up in places where we never imagined we would be.

But God. Gives second and sometimes third chances. Sometimes.

So. No fear. I have power. Love and a sound mind. The Lord is my rock. My fortress. My strong tower. Who should I fear? 

Nah. The other way around. Fear God. Keep His commands.

Knowing that obedience is better than sacrifice. Because He will straighten out crooked paths. The God of new things. Will renew somethings in you as well!