Day 34

I used to be in a rush all the time. 

Today I slowed down.

I took my daughter for a mother daughter outing.

Finished the night with a new fresh hair do for my little miss. I fell in love again with her today. With all the obstacles life has given us it has been difficult to focus on her well being. So it’s not a desire to give attention to someone who is taking her time away from her and not doing anything to upbuild me and make her time with me better.

I refuse to do stress. I refuse to do disloyal. I want to show my daughter how to choose healthy relationships.

My mother may not have done all that I wanted her to but she taught me healthy relationships. She taught me girl night sleep overs for her adult friends in her thirties. They would pop popcorn, watch movies like Gremlins, Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, and laugh late into the night. I never heard her talking bad about her friends. And her friend who was constantly running from and going back to a DV situation, she was shelter from the storm. Often letting God use her and our one bedroom apartment to bring four other people in.

And the man my mother finally chose courted her for a good year before she even advanced further. 

That same man was asking my mother to use my money for the first year of their marriage. He was only making $6.25 an hour. But the year she died he was making $70,000 a year.

My mother taught me how to encourage and upbuild. How not to accept the unacceptable. And how to love my sister friends. 

To learn your strengths. To know who you are is a blessing. I know who I am because I know who raised me. I know my mother had to be hard on me knowing what was in my bloodline on the other side. 

Addictions are hard to break once they start.

So today. I celebrate motherhood. Finding my place in it. So many of my childhood friends are looking for colleges for their children and here I am just getting started. Twiddling my thumbs wishing for a mother or a father so i can go out sometimes. But God saw fit. To give me what I need when I need it most.

So I am learning how to be content with what I have. No complaints. Be thankful for all that I have. And know that God is being praised in my thanksgivings.

If I continue to let my petitions be known to him. With thanksgiving. He is faithful.


Love as always. And live out loud!


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