Today, as always, I am multi tasking.
Being a single mother, and a single woman who works a part-time job, serves in ministry and adjusting to a new school schedule for a budding kindergartener: life gets busy.
Like I told one guy calling my phone today, calling me telling me how I don’t call you or text you back is not going to make me sympathize with your whining.
I explained my list and provided a solution. Call me to see how you can be of assistance. If you are courting me, like a couple of men showed me after starting this new journey with Jesus, you are going to make sure my groceries, laundry, and General needs are met.
Stop bothering me otherwise. But said in my soft demure tone, low calm voice, and no hint of aggression they agree and apologize.
Words read sometimes are read the way a person would say it. But if you have softness and kindness in your heart you read the words the way you would say them. With love and affection. Everything can be said, just not in any type of way.
Don’t be sorry. Be better. With a smile on my face and laughter in my eyes can warm a persons heart and make them want to be better.
Like I joked with the guy on the bus who bumped past me without saying excuse me. Are you too good to say excuse me? A smile on my face, and laughter in my eyes brought his excuse me. And when I was getting off and bumped him accidentally with my cart my excuse me brought a smile to his face.
Anyway. Multitasking. Laundry. Grocery shopping, and a little mundane shopping. Long sleeve shirts for a cold season for my little one. And thank God all this is available in the mall the laundry mat is in.
Then I notice: the laundry has free transportation. I got there on the bus dragging bags and carts behind me. But I made it.
I learned something. If I put forth the first effort the last one will be made for me. I reached out to do what I had to do. And something was given to me in return. A free ride home!
If I put forth effort to be friendly friends will come to me.
I used to be a friendly person.
Then something happened to make me not trust, and be hateful towards people. But I had friends before that. And now I am making friends. Or sisters are becoming friends. These sisters in Christ are becoming my friends.
I don’t know too much family. Some rule in the religion I grew up to not associate with unbelievers. Which included family. My mothers doing. And adulthood kept me working two and three jobs sometimes and going to school full time, to make connections that should have been made in childhood.
But today. In the midst of all the stuff I was attending to, my Boston best friend called me.
Her son was 1 year old when he came into my classroom. He’s twelve now. We connected as she was one of my parents, and her son spent too much time watching His father box. He always had a boxing stance for us. And I was the only black teacher. He didn’t listen to anyone else to put them hands down.
But professionalism meant we couldn’t kick it until she was no longer a client.
When I was chosen as one of the teachers to open their third daycare center she and I started kicking it on the regular. She was my faithful workout buddy. Even getting it in on thanksgiving day!
My B. I used to call her. Now I’ll reuse the letter and call her my beauty!
I made an untrue statement the other day about it being difficult to make friends. Not true. I’ve made plenty of wonderful friends in my life time. We don’t have to talk everyday. Or like all I each others status. But when I need a hug. Or a call. Or a laugh. Or some real talk. They are there.
My friend who hears me worry about maybe not being able to pick up my daughter and is there to get my daughter before I get there. My friend who makes sure I get to destinations like grocery stores or home from church. My friend who taught me how to draw on eyebrows before they were a black American thing, and was definitely a part of her Dominican culture. Or the one who reminds me that it’s going to get better. Or the one who let’s me know to keep on writing when I was in the verge of giving up. Or the one who keeps on calling and leaving messages even when life makes me feel so consumed that I forget to call back. She always makes sure to encourage me in The Lord! Or the new one I have just met who doesn’t even live in the same city as I do. But she texts and keeps me on her mind. Or my sister friend who made sure my paperwork got in to cta so I could go back to work after being off six weeks, without pay. Or the one who just so happened to bless me with a gift card not knowing I was going to be out of work all that time without pay.
God has placed some amazing women in my life!!!
There is a list. Some know me Better than others. But we show love. Continuously.
It’s something about life how it’s easier to pay attention to who isn’t there, than it is to pay attention to who is and always had your back.
My A1s are not the people who have been there from day one. They are the ones who never left. Never used words to hurt me. Never talked about me behind my back. Never turned others against me, to disguise the hurt they carried in their lives.
I am enjoying the love these days. I planted many more seeds of love than I did hate. So I will enjoy my harvest.
Thank God for friends. Sometimes we just have to meet them half way. Like I did today going to get my laundry done. And the rest will fall in place.
This place is starting to get a little more comfortable: and I am thankful for that!