I used to feel bad about people who once spoke to me, laughed with me, talked to me and stopped.
I used to internalize people’s reactions to my behaviors. Especially reactions without having a conversation with me.
If I have offended someone. And they take this information to someone else, (who then in turn starts looking at me funny), but never bring it to me can I be blamed for a slight I don’t know about?
And furthermore. Why would a person get in their feelings? Especially being a believer when Jesus says forgive 77×7. So how can someone hold a grudge and love at the same time?
I used to want people to know me. Know who I am. So you can root for me. So you can believe in me. Because I used to struggle with that.
Now I don’t need that. Jesus validates me. With love and peace. In the depressed season, being my mothers ony child and her and my father being deceased. Raising my only child alone. And constantly stressing about who is going to help me pick her up from school so I can work I should be a nervous wreck. But God!
I used to want to explain myself. My favorite tv shows are The New Adventures of Old Christine, Friends, Seinfeld etc… My sense of humor is different. I’m usually joking around all the time. I’m silly. I like to play. Sometimes my jokes are said with a serious face. Like many of the punch lines on my favorite shows.
Or. I’m blunt. Straightforward to the point. I love to converse and get into debates and discussions. I love to give and recieve insight. But like a debate. I will listen to your point of view. Then take my turn to give mine. And if we can’t agree let’s agree to disagree and go get something to eat.
And I don’t do the phony or fake. If I smell an undercover diss to me or anyone else I see a person giggle and teehee with I’m done. You can’t talk about someone to me and then kick it with them and think we are going to be best buds.
But I am me. I don’t have to have approval from anyone to be me. And I love me regardless.
And if a person fails to get to know me and forms a poor opinion, they missing out!
I have a lot of fun! I laugh at a lot of things that many cry about when speaking about me. Because life is meant to be enjoyed. So I work hard to get over things.
And live this life abundantly!
So I do. And the people around me are pretty awesome as well!
So grateful and thankful! Life is good!!!