I once had a girl friend. She called me her wifey. God pulled me out of that city I lived in so fast it was like Lot and Sodom and Gomorroh.
It was about to go down.
I never really liked men. Kinda sorta used them for my viewing, lusting, devouring pleasure.
Eating boys like a black widow spider was my specialty. Some have switched races on me, now that our soul ties are broken some won’t even speak.
All is well. I was not too kind.
I now find a little humor in men thinking I’m interested because I smile. I smile at everybody, who hasn’t made me feel uncomfortable. Or start conversations. I’m a chatter box. I talk to the homeless people, and drug addicts too. Smiling and laughing. We all come from dust. Some of us just make different choices. Or think because I come through their social media with a message. I just had something to say before I forget. I’m not big on internet dating. I’m not big on dating right now period. I’m chilling. Just be wanting friends. My friends stay in their zone, for the most part. But anyway. The humor.
Stop letting the desperate and lonely blow a head out of proportion. You cool and all. So stay cool and all. Everyone isn’t dying to be married. Some of us know what Apostle Paul meant by singleness is a gift.
My girl friends. That are just friends and were once girls.
Almost three weeks ago this man. This little, all types of curse words come to my mind, but I’m being delivered from cussin. So I’ll act like I’m delivered already.
Anyway. He’s supposed to be picking up my daughter. I pay him enough money a week. But he’s calling me talking about drinks and chilling.
First of all. I’ve already told him I don’t drink. Not really. But for him I won’t ever drink. We can’t chill. Because he’s a married man. And I’m going to bible study.
It’s a Tuesday.
I talk to him at 3:56 or something like that. Assuming my daughter is already in the car with him. She gets out of school at 3 ish. But by 4:30 I’m getting all types of calls from my managers, and from her school. My baby has been left behind and he hasn’t picked her up.
Because I keep turning down all this man’s advances. Even before he actually told me he was married. Because he wanted me to see how much I need him so he controlled the situation to put my daughter in a bad place so I would give in.
Low key. After all I’ve been through with men, I try not to dislike all of a certain type of man.
Anyway. I have to fire him. Immediately. And then. I have to get my daughter to safety.
So I call friend number one. She goes right away to pick my baby up. This friend does my baby’s homework with her and feeds her.
God father comes to take her to the bus the next day and a new sister in Christ picks her up the next day.
Friend number two leaves the comfort of her home to stay with us for a couple of nights. To get her on the school bus and get her off. Feeding my daughter and taking some of the load off of me.
Friend number three comes in the middle of the night to pick her up and keep her while I have to be at work at 4:50 am.
The only reason I would’ve wanted a relationship is for the help. But God sends me help when I need it.
The bible speaks of a friend that sticks closer than a brother. There are people out here that are willing to lay their own needs to the side to make sure someone else is alright. I’m that type of friend at times. I kept reminding my Father in heaven of the seeds Ive sown. Even the ones I planted on unyielding soil.
No one asked for money. And when I tried to give someone something they put the money back in my hand.
I had someone asking for payment for a service they hadn’t rendered. She said I didn’t pay. Now I may not have paid this last person, yet, because of the expenses incurred as a result of him neglecting the responsibilities. But I’m honest about money. Either I pay or I don’t. Anyway. They were asking for a payment for a week of pickup services when they made the choice not to pick up the last day in the week. And the payment they received was for the week they didn’t finish and the following week, of which was school break.
I believe the person lost the money they claimed was missing in the unorganized space they worked from. But anyway…
When the latter happens, I’m not always ready to recieve the former. I think everyone wants to get over. But everyone does not. Some people are just willing to do something from the bottom of their hearts, with love and kindness needing nothing in return.
These past two weeks I saw women band together. For a good cause. For sisterhood. In love and purpose. Helping. And I know God sent them. Because I cried out to him for help. And they did. So whenever people say women can’t get along. I am no longer A believer in that foolish rhetoric. Messy women create environments where peace won’t thrive so contention has no choice but to live. And when contention can’t be passed on to the woman that claim they have a problem with because she’s unbothered it will in turn get into the spirits of all the women who let their ears burn from the messy talk. And they will eventually turn on each other. Contentious behavior never breeds peace, even if it’s not directed at the people who hear the words.
That’s why when someone comes to me with a name and so and so did such and such, they get shut down. We are all imperfect. I don’t want to hear anything that may make me look at that person differently because where they may not be connected with you they may be connected to me. And I don’t want ugly opinions making me fix my face to look at them differently.
Besides. Maybe that person was having a bad day. An imperfect day. You’ll tell me all about the offense but will keep the apology hush hush.
I found out, this past two weeks, my sisters got my back. In a situation that was rough and stressful.
And it’s making me Check that circle. I need to know. Who is going to be down in a bad time. Check up on me in hard times. Pray with and for me in tough times. Not talk about me because they want the love and attention others give me so they choose to dirty my name up because they feel that’s how to get the attention they want, but aren’t able to get without making themselves out to be a victim.
Things happen in life. You move on to victory. Or you can fall out and not get the help you need that God will eventually send.
So. Check your circle. Test your circle. Make sure they are tried and true. Because if some people won’t be authentic, God has someone that will be good to you.