I called my old co-worker the other day.

It really was a business related call. But he and I never kept our relationship professional while we worked together.

And I know the old adage. Don’t make a mess where you eat.

The job I had before taught me that.

Women I tell you.

They will make life difficult for someone when the person they are interested is interested in that someone.

And I used to struggle with humility. The guy everyone wanted always wanted me and I would gloat. Nah.

Nah. Neeeee.

Booboo. Boohoo. Who you?

Yep. Women crying to their friends about how I looked at them cross eyed when I was paying them no attention. Poetically thinking about that funny text the guy they like sent me.

It’s never been personal. I just be me. No holds barred. Men tend to like women who not talking about their “friends” behind their back, then keekeekeeing with them later on.

I’m usually the only woman in a room full of their boys. I hear. Conversations about what women do to push their man away.

Never wanted to be her.

All lonely and bitter. Hating other women. Hating the pretty woman. Hating the woman the guy I like likes. Hating the confidant woman. Using my judgements of others as my excuse as to why I can’t be better.

Man, men can be a trip. Especially when they forget I’m the lone lady in the room listening to how they really feel about the women they’ve been playing for a fool.

So. I digress.

I talk to the unprofessional nurse. Who used to follow behind me in all my rooms. Tall brown and so FINE! In a nursing home of women he was prime picking, with his eyes set on me.

And the way he cared for our residents caught my attention. And the way the other women started rolling their eyes at me kept me in the game of chase.

I mean if you must hate me.

Let’s have a good reason.

But then. My residents started having bowl movements from their feet to their neck. And guess who can’t get out of bed? And guess who sweating and rolling people to change whole linen. And guess who won’t help this CNA in a place where help makes life better. And the other nurses, not understanding why the handsome available nurse would be interested in a CNA, making a little change when the lady nurses were making that paper. They were probably giving the residents stool softener at the beginning of my shift.

It seems like for everyone is a lose lose.

I maintain great friendships with guys. No strings attached. Boundaries set in place and limits intact. My friendliness is not flirting. Nor is it an invitation for someone to get closer. I love to love on people who are not mean to me. So I do.

If I’m friends with someone who likes the guy that’s interested in me, I’ll gladly send him in her direction. Why hold onto what I can’t do anything with?

Now, though. I’m learning teamwork. I’m learning love all over again.

The art of love.

As the Master’s brush strokes against the inside of my heart to create and change mine to clean and one of flesh when it was formerly made of stone. From the inside out. His beautiful splendor touching my mind to help me see things his way.

I used to anticipate the hate coming for just being Radiance. Giving ammunition. But now I seek the whole armor of God. My feet shod with peace. Body armor of righteousness. That means the blows of the enemy are cancelled when I choose to live a righteous life. Doing the right thing. Walking in integrity. Weapons form but they do not prosper, because how can attacks penetrate when I have on the full armor?

See hating my sister is against the grain of what Christ commanded me to do. He said if I love him I’d keep his commandments. And loving my sisters is number two. They have to be a part of that neighbour category.

See when we work together we thrive.

We help each other. I don’t care if it’s helping a sister eat healthy, learn a musical part, distinguish the difference between alto and soprano, work out, clean her space, be a blessing to her. Love is patient and kind. Love keeps no record of wrong. Like you know what a person did, but you don’t hold it against that person for the future. Love is forbearing.

We take offenses. A forgive repeatedly. Last year a sister of mine did something totally hurtful to me instead of just saying, no thank you Radiance I don’t want to go to church with you.

But this year after finally joining the church she was running from last year she invites me to a girl spa weekend in a couple of weeks.

We hugged and she’d a couple of years when we reconnected this past Sunday. She said she had been coming to check looking for me. But I was probably there early in the morning.

Anyway.

We fall short. We forgive. We move on. We become great. Loving and nurturing each other back to life one day at a time. Not leaving a sister behind that wants to stay in the race.

So. Next time you say, uhh unhh I don’t like her. And stay slandering her name to the men folk, women folk, check your heart. Where is this really coming from?

And correct. We never are too late to ask God for forgiveness in the land of the living.

So who you loving, wanna be hugging on today.

Love your sister!

 

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