I am … healing

I’ve been through too much hurt and pain to not let a professional show me methods to deal with the madness.

So, I joined a group. 

And I found a therapist.

Even the things I thought I was healed from are still hurting me. So I talk about it. I want to be free from the pain. 

As I dive into areas I thought I never wanted to talk about again I realize I’m being stretched.

Three years ago, I was rear ended. I felt back pain then, that I’d never felt before. Because my back was hurting, to take the stress off my back I placed more strain on my knees. Then my knees started hurting. Then my finances started hurting because I couldn’t get a job in all the pain. Then my relationships started to suffer, because I am not going out the house in pain and not enough money to save and live.

But. I got over myself. To help someone else celebrate an occasion. And doors began to open.

Fast forward. Here and now. After having made choices to entertain relationships with people who don’t look at the future the way I do, and more hurt is layered on. It doesn’t matter how you feel about a person. What matters most is how you two feel about the same things. If we have similar views on life then we can walk the paths that will inevitably be tough together. If not we will always have forked roads and either we walk those paths separately, or someone will let go of their desires to go with the other.

I’ve spent too much time nurturing the desires of men who didn’t have what it takes to lead me to my destiny that I don’t even know who I am. I am who I am based on their needs and desires. 

but now. I am healing.

I have been living the life of a raw vegan. So. That means I only eat food that has not been cooked. And is made up of all plants. Only plant based food goes into my body.

I had this pain in my side. The pain wrapped around to the side and front of my belly. I would press into the pain and start belching. But this pain started from my heart. And came down into my shoulder blade. Then the pain stopped at my side. And oh the flatulence. 

I got so good at releasing that I would scrunch my nose up with everyone else and start shaking my head on the train rides. My belches would be so loud and raucous that one passenger commented about how that sounded like it came from my soul. It did though. A wounded soul, getting set free from pain and self destructive behaviors. 

And when I started the raw vegan lifestyle I began releasing. The pain began easing day by day. My swollen colon began flattening out. Then all the rubbing I would do, sometimes with a large rock, would start moving things right along. And out of me.

Guess what began leaving? Bitterness, pain, anger, regret, destructive behavior, hatred, loneliness, and weight.

My swollen belly started getting flatter by the day. 

The pain in my back began subsiding. The pain in my knees began to be relieved. I can wear heels again. Heels on long legs with pained knees is an awful combination. 

My interpersonal relationships began flourishing. In order to have a friend I have to first show myself friendly. Reaching out to love these beautiful people I’ve been connected to have allowed me to be nurtured back to life.

For a person who rarely forgets anything having positive interactions is effective for change, love and growth.

It’s amazing to me how many changes one can go through just by choosing a different diet.

One study showed how with rats by eating a raw healthy diet the rats were kind to one another, they lived a long healthy life. When their organs were autopsied there was little to no degeneration. They also had less sicknesses. 

Then there was the group that ate the American diet. They turned on each other and were sick, with their health failing. They were more vicious.

Then there was the group who started out with the American diet but switched to the raw vegan diet later. These in this group experienced a change in their health. As well as in their behavior.

That be me. I have more energy. Less pain. More joy with a lot of peace. I am eating the way my creator designed my body to ingest food. Food that is designed to bring life giving nutrients to living cells. And I find joy.

And I find that the five months I’ve been eating the way I always ate before 2013 is so damaging to myself that I never want to go back to extinguish like that on a Full time basis Again. 

So. My granddad has always told me to eat to live. I’d watch him reading all his health books. And then he goes into why not live to eat.

I guessing learning lessons and finally listening. To great health!

A healthy mind is a happy mind. Try it. You’ll be surprised!!