I’ve never been quick to respond to critical people. My mother always had something to say. I’ve learned people tend to be critical of others when they choose not to fix what they don’t like about themselves if it can be fixed. Or they can’t find the strength to love what they can’t change about themselves.
I am thankful for love.
My mother when not trying to push me to be better than everyone else was a constant reminder teaching me about loving myself.
Why am I not light like you I would ask? What??!? She would respond in utter contempt. I WISH I were your complexion. All brown and beautiful, instead of this drab light one I have. Don’t you see all your beautiful red tones???
I saw them then. I stopped comparing. I started seeing beauty in light skin. I learned to recognize beauty in dark skin. But most importantly I learned to see beauty in people for who they were and how they treated others.
I am still wishing I could be like my mom. Opening her home to women running from domestic violence situations. Feeding and being hospitable to whomever dropped by. And standing firm and sound on her beliefs.
I’m not that nice. Sweet as pie to whomever I like. But oh the rest…
Blank state in the air.
Oh but I’m a lady.
No matter what hairstyle I rock. No matter what kicks don my feet. Lady like was the behavior she beat into me. Broom handles, belt buckles, or whatever. I got the messages. Be a lady or else!
This weekend though. I celebrate her life. No tears. I celebrate the love of self she taught me to have.
Even when my brothers all brown and beautiful allow me to nurture their soul and love my essence. But choose my fairer skin sisters for the complex reason that they’ve been taught light skin is the better of the black skins. See when they are still struggling with love of self and need to be accepted and validated by their friend folk they choose the bad… I.E from a mans own mouth the light skin diva. Even when she doesn’t become the helpmate he needs to find the success God planted inside of him. As long as he has the approval of people, with his people pleasing self, he thinks he is winning.
But I am my sisters keeper. I’m raising a light skin woman to be.
Her fathers oldest daughter, at 13, reminded her that they were winning because they were light skinned. Because the world has been trained to beat the brown skin woman down. The slavery times, field woman. Yeah I’m a brown skin woman.
More like Celia a slave, brown woman. Try me!!!
But really this is all a ploy to keep us divided. We as sisters need each other. For love, for fellowship, for advice, and for change that comes through the prayers we pray for one another.
These past few months have been about healing. I’ve found sisterhood doesn’t stop with brown and fair black skin. I have sisters of other races. That come through with books to empower and heal. That come through with words of love and encouragement.
No more divisions.
We all have beauty that doesn’t fit societies standards!
My momma taught me that. So I’ve accepted that!
Happy birthday! I’m celebrating! I’m loving. Those who loving me. Accepting me as I am. And letting me love them and accept them as their authentic selves, not who they want the world to believe they are.
See all is well in the world. If you heal and believe. I told my momma she could let go. I would be alright.
And here I am all alright and stuff.
It will always get better if you believe. Believe and let go of what hurts.
I tried it. It’s true!
Live and let love come to you!!!!