​Dear Disloyalty,
I used to be so angry at people because of your wicked divisive schemes.

You know.

Making those I once had a lot of love for turn their backs on me. 

You know. 

Making those I once called family use their words to cover me in the hole they threw me in. Burying me. Creating my circumstances with the words God has always said were powerful. 

I had to fight hard to climb out that hole!

You know. 

You had me good there for a minute, disloyalty. Grabbing hold of these people. Putting a noose around their necks. Pretty people saying the ugliest things. Making God detest their actions. Proverbs 6:16 says God detests those creating divisions. 

You almost had me disloyalty. You almost had me telling all their ugly secrets about them to their face and the faces of everyone who would listen. You almost had me out of favor with God. 

But I know. God my Father is close to those who are humble. Pride and retaliation almost had me giving into you disloyalty.

No. Pride. I’ll get you on another day.  Retaliation? I am working on getting you out my system. But your day is coming too!

Oh disloyalty.

Did you know you almost had me paying attention to you and those whom you were using. 

Haha. You so silly! 

Tricks are for hustlers and pimps.

Prostitutes. What constitutes a prostitute is the pursuit of profit. Folks always looking to gain something. Maybe they used me as a focus point of their negativity because they wanted to gain favor from those who were ignoring them. Maybe they wanted to compare their wins to my losses to make them feel like they were someone to make them hate their life less. Maybe they wanted to be favored. The favorite. Maybe they wanted to be loved. Maybe they wanted change in exchange for turning me into who they claimed I was. Maybe that’s why they were letting you use them disloyalty.

Maybe they wanted me to change into a wicked hearted and mean person by using hurt as the shovel to pile all those words of betrayal over my character.

Guess what disloyalty? 

The kind and polite young woman who would knock on doors as a child trying to tell people about God was trained to love people who hated and talked about her repeatedly.

I was trained to still be kind to the mean hearted and ungrateful. Be sweet to those who I came to help but slammed a door in my face.

I was taught not to gloat about my favor. 

I was schooled on how to live and love graciously, like a lady. 

So disloyalty. I don’t rock with you. Even when you send people for me. I won’t resort to your tactics. 

My mother trained me up in the ways to go as the good word told her to. As I get older I understand why I can’t depart from those ways.

I never saw my mother gossiping, backbiting, being phony. If she didn’t like you she didn’t like you… It never meant she was hating. She probably, like my spiritual eyes have, saw who a person really was not falling for the deceit of who their masks portrayed them to be. The lies have come undone now. She, my mama, opened her doors to those in need. She fed many. 

Yes. Disloyalty. I have been given power and authority to trample on snakes like you. So you can’t rock with me no more.

If a person come back like Peter after denying me it’s on and we cool, and they have denied you disloyalty. But if a person stay away like Judas I will be more than happy to let them hang themselves.

I aim to be like Christ!

Well disloyalty. This is where we part ways. You can’t stay. And anybody you use must depart as well.

I should be thanking you. The holes they threw me in were just used to plant me. In seed form. And the words were fertilizer to make me grow all the way up!

I have flourished!

It’s been a ride.

But it’s over. Tata and goodbye!

Radiance J.


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