I am doing this thing these days. If I start with something I aim to finish it.
Like if I start encouraging a person. I aim to do that thing until God says stop.
Or if I start with this vegan lifestyle, I plan on picking every piece of egg I can find out of the fried rice I forgot to tell them to make without egg.
If I am working on building a better me, then I want to be able to do that consistently. I remember when walking and running miles were my thing. Then I fell off. But consistency would have kept me on.
I need consistency.
I need routine.
I don’t care if you are a consistent shady character.
Just don’t ever change how you treat me.
Until you are ready to come clean about how you been throwing shade and me under the bus.
I have come to brace myself for certain individuals and their sly comments and almost compliments.
I have something to look forward to.
But, I have expectations.
See consistency. That’s all i need.
Someone consistent in their decency.
If someone is going to be in my life they have to consistently be a decent person, with morals and integrity. Trust is such a big thing to me. And if I cannot trust a person they cannot be in my inner circle.
See consistency is such a tough thing to find these days.
Then a double minded man is unstable in all his ways.
A couple of weeks ago, I was in the train. A man I had been crazy about for all of 2016 happened to be on the same car as I. We were both so busy in our phones that we didn’t see each other. Or maybe I didn’t see him. Maybe he saw me and had his own private agenda. Because his story of wanting to go to Giordano’s is not adding up when I just looked to see what time they opened today. They open at 11 AM. We were getting off at my stop at a little before ten. He was definitely not about to wait until 11 until they opened up.
So we were walking. I told him I threw my feelings for him away.
Buddy was under the impression that all women get hooked on something and will stay. And maybe he thought because I am a nice person who was interested in encouraging him so let the words God has given me to help him on his journey, in addition to my attraction was going to cause me to allow him to mistreat me. Even though he would not give me what I was asking for, he thought I would still be willing to stay around for the foolery.
I am an only child. I enjoy my alone time. I have only ever been in three official relationships, because once I start something I ride that thing until the wheels fall off and even then I am slow coasting on the rims.
So he asked why. I explained that if my feelings were unnecessary and weren’t going to be put to use what use are they. If the feelings weren’t being reciprocated, why hold on. I threw them away. I have no plans to go and find them.
He began to explain how I come up with all types of conclusions, that aren’t true.
And the more we talked, I knew my mind wouldn’t be changed. When I am done I am done. Forget everything else. That’s it. That’s why I don’t commit. If I was committed I would have been compelled to try. But no commitment means a towels throw away.
As our time together progressed he began to ask me for a kiss.
Not a chance buddy. We are literally fighting for kisses. Me to not give him one, and him to force me into giving him one.
When I explain to him why he begins to go into details about all the women he is interested in that is not me.
Is that double minded or what? Why would a man be wrestling with a woman he is not interested in?
I need consistency.
I knew he wasn’t consistent.
Some days I would get texts, some days I would not.
Some days he was available to talk, some days he was not.
Some days we would speak to each other, some days we would not.
I was so over it.
Consistency is king in the land of confusion.
Life is too short to not know what you want. Life is to be lived, and what you want shouldn’t change with the current of the wind.
Nope. I want consistency.
See I have a couple of goals. And like Joseph led Mary to a place to birth her promise safely, I need someone who is consistent about listening to God to follow the path we are supposed to take to make that happen.
I know a consistent person will push and motivate me to become my best consistent version of myself, because that is something they have already conquered.
Anything else will quickly get dismissed!
Everything I want is not good for me. So I will consistently stress to myself that I deserve the best life I was placed here to live. And live abundantly. I will live consistently and on purpose.
Love on time, at the right time and in the right season. Love like a sculpture on the potters wheel. Love like you are willing to conform to a mold that best suits the beauty of this life that you want to hold. Some sculptures, like vases, have a small opening, and some sculptures are wide enough to hold larger pieces on display.
Whatever you allow love to mold you into, make it the you that has the most to give to the rest of the world!
Spread love. It’s an art. It was never meant to be kept to yourself, because when it’s real you can’t contain it nor hide it. The whole world will know about it!